


Legends Never Die

by Marvel_Junkiee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Badass Mikasa Ackerman, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Injured Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, Vaginal Sex, Wilderness Survival, all the feels, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-10-18 02:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17572172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_Junkiee/pseuds/Marvel_Junkiee
Summary: Surviving outside of the walls is impossible. But when Mikasa and Levi are left behind, they have no choice but to try. They discover a connection between the Ackerman name, their abilities as fighters, and themselves.





	1. When The World Is Calling You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fanfic in forever, and writing for this fandom is new to me. However, the song Legends Never Die by League of Legends inspired me to write this. It's a slow burn, but I didn't think it would do the characters justice to just throw them into a romantic relationship straightaway. So why not put them in a life or death situation instead? :D

* * *

* * *

The forest had an eerie stillness to it. Mikasa had felt enveloped in the quiet since they came. It only made the rapid beating of her heart all the louder in her ears.

 

She’d never felt so helpless as she watched the Female Titan bite down onto Eren. It clouded her senses, the terror of seeing her only remaining family being swallowed whole. But a storm of rage chased away the fear. It burned through her blood, she launched forward and gave chase. Her swords sliced flesh, snapped tendons.

 

“Give him back!” She bellowed. The woman dealt a savage blow to the giant’s achilles, screaming “Give Eren back!”

 

The titan crashed down onto the forest floor. Mikasa sped down, swords flashing in the dim light. Her muscles burned, ready to strike her foe down. But her weapons cracked, and she swung out of range in shock.

 

“Why didn’t-?”

 

A crystal armor had protected the nape of the tian’s neck, shattering her swords like glass. Mikasa’s rage only grew. “I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” She drew new swords, flexing her fingers around the hilt. “Just hold on Eren, just a little longer.”

 

The monster swung at her, crushing the bark of the tree where Mikasa had been. The titan began fleeing, with the brunette hot on her heels. “Wait-”

 

Something swing into her, dragging her back into the shadows of the trees. She looked up and locked eyes with Captain Levi.   

 

“Fall back for now.” He said. “We have to come up with a plan.”

 

She pushed him away, launching her gear so she could glide along side him. That anger was still boiling in her veins, and for a moment, all her years in the military melted away. Any form of discipline dissolved as she spar out “fuck you,” to her captain.

 

He raised his eyebrows, adjusting his flight path so he was backwards, facing her. “That’s right. You’re Eren’s childhood friend.”

 

“Yes,” her eyes dripped with venom, “and you’re the asshole who kicked the shit out of him.”

 

She could see the sudden flash in his eyes. Whenever she let herself break free of her otherwise cold facade, she’d always see that look in people’s eyes, the look of fear. But not him, Levi’s eyes widened with something different, _respect._

 

“Ah, well then tell me,” He moved back beside her, “Is Eren alive? I saw the bite mark, at the nape of the neck.”

 

Mikasa looked ahead, scowling at the Female Titan. “Yes, he’s alive. She swallowed him whole.”

 

Levi grimaced. “Gross. Then we need to focus on rescue Eren, never mind killing her.”

 

“What?!” She had seen the bodies of his squad, mangled and bloodied. “After all the people she’s killed?”

 

The man shot his own poisonous glare at Mikasa. “Don’t lose sight of the mission, Ackerman.” He turned his gaze to the titan. “Look, she’s getting tired. We’ve only got one shot at this, you distract her, I’ll cut her up.”

 

The woman nodded, and something clicked into place. The same way it had when she first met Eren. That feeling, that _moment_ , cleared her head. Adrenaline flushed through her veins, and without a thought or another word to her captain, she knew what to do.

 

She fired her ODM gear and sped in front of the giant. Mikasa could feel the gaze of her enemy on her back, but also the eyes of her captain.

 

When the Female Titan swung her fist at Levi, Mikasa went for the legs. He sliced up her arm before the creature could react, cutting through her muscles. Mikasa had torn up the titan’s calves and feet, moving up to the spine at the same time as Levi. But somehow, she knew exactly where he was targeting and he seemed to know hers.

 

They flew up in sync, breaking down the flesh of the hips and shoulders. She swung out of the way as Levi blinded her and sent the monster crashing back into the trees. Together, they swept down, severing her arms so she couldn’t protect her mouth. Mikasa looked at Levi, and he nodded. She cut the left side of her jaw, he took the right. They moved like a single weapon, flawless and without mistakes, though not once had they ever fought or trained together.

 

Mikasa saw the huge mouth open, revealing a safe Eren within her maw. Relief filled her heart, but then she saw it. Her nape was left open, unprotected. She could do it, she could kill the monster that had dared to take her family. Something in the back of her mind told her not too, to obey her commanding officer, but she fired her ODM anyways.

 

“Hey!” A hand pushed her, and when she looked back, Mikasa saw Levi between her and the giant’s hand. His left leg twisted, she saw the pain on his face as he darted away. Guilt pressed up her throat, but he grabbed Eren before she could speak.

 

“Hurry up, Ackerman. Unless your need for revenge is stronger than your duty as a soldier.”

 

She glared at him, but followed as he headed back towards the formation. The electricity of that _moment_ , the feeling of every cell in her body telling her to fight dissipated. All that remained was the relief of Eren’s safety, and the guilt of causing her captain injury.


	2. Can You Hear Them Screaming Out Your Name?

 

The air was still, too quiet. Levi found himself wishing for a breeze, just _something_ to disturb the overwhelming atmosphere of grief that haunted the formation. This fog always followed seasoned fighters every expedition, and seeing it crash down on new soldiers was always painful to witness. The anger, guilt, regret, and tears that filled all the former cadet’s faces was becoming an all too familiar sight. But even more heartbreaking was seeing his comrades quietly grieve.

 

Mike was a quiet guy, but Levi hadn’t heard the man speak in over an hour. Hanji’s normally carefree, bubbly personality was stone cold. Erwin was carrying the enormous weight of too many deaths on his mind, harshly commanding his ranks to mask his burden. Levi had seen this all before, but it didn’t make seeing his friends mourn any easier.

 

Especially with four of them gone.

 

The bodies of his elite squad were wrapped in cloth, indistinguishable in a sea of other corpses. He stood staring blankly, remembering the horrific sight he stumbled upon in the forest. How the Female Titan had left them like garbage, broken and bleeding as if they meant nothing… _but they meant everything._

 

It had happened again. His choice resulted in their deaths. Just like five years ago. Images of Isabel and Farlan burned behind his eyes. Levi had failed again to protect the ones he cared about, and could only regret the decisions he’d made.

 

He knelt down, almost grateful for the pain in his knee as he unwrapped one of the bodies. The injury grounded him, reminding his heart that now wasn’t the time to wallow in sorrow. They were still very much in titan territory, with almost two days between them and the safety of the walls. They couldn’t afford to indulge their feelings.

 

At least, that’s what Levi thought. The young prodigy in the ranks seemed to think otherwise.

 

He had watched Mikasa ever since they returned from battling the Female Titan. She had hovered over Eren like a mother, helping to bandage his wounds and making sure he was secure in the supply cart. But then, she did something truly surprising.

 

She left Eren and instead started helping the soldiers around her. She helped pass around previsions and water, gave a sobbing Sasha Braus a hug, and helped the medics patch up the wounded. It was strange seeing her be so caring, especially after seeing her fight so ruthlessly alongside him. Something his mind wasn’t letting him forget.

 

It had been a long time since he’d had a... _moment_ , like that. Not since the underground. The sight of his comrades that were so skilled left dead on the forest floor had made something in his brain snap. Something clicked, and after seeing the rage in the young woman’s eyes as they chased the enemy, it all fell into place. They moved as one, swords flashing and eyes alert, yet rarely meeting the other’s gaze. They both knew what to do, and Levi was shocked that Mikasa could keep up with him.

 

He wondered if she too had felt that spark. If perhaps it had something to do with the Ackerman name, and if Kenny had ever felt something like it.

 

_Too bad that sack of shit isn’t around to tell me._

 

Levi walked back to his horse, doing a very good job of hiding his limp. The muscles in his left knee were pulled at best and made sitting on his horse uncomfortable. He’d have to have Four Eyes look at it later, but not now. He’d be fine, and she had more important injuries to attend too.

 

He didn’t hold the incident against Mikasa. When he first joined the Survey Corps, that same rage he saw in her eyes had taken hold of him too. If anything, he was glad he was there to keep her from getting squashed. Hopefully she’d become a better soldier from it and learn how to keep her emotions in check.

 

He didn’t see her approach him. Somehow he just knew she was walking up to him.

 

“What is it, Ackerman.” Levi turned around, looking up at her.

 

He could only see her eyes, the rest of her face hidden by her scarf. _What is the deal with her and that thing,_ he thought, crossing his arms. Those gray eyes looked sad, not filled with tears like Braus’s had been, but with quiet regret.

 

“Sir, I’m very sorry about what I said in the forest. And for your leg-”

 

“Nevermind that,” Levi raised an eyebrow, “just tell me, do you understand now why I told you not to try and kill her?”

 

She nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

 

“Good, that’s all that matters. Just forget about the rest.”

 

“But your leg, the least I can do it make sure it’s wrapped.”

 

“No, just forget it Ackerman.” Levi turned back to his horse, hoping she’d drop it.

 

She didn’t.

 

“Sir I really have to insist-”

 

“What is your problem?” He swung back around, starting to get pissed off. “Why are you playing doctor? Do you really think that will fix everything, some bandages and water?”

 

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared back at him blankly. _I really hate that she’s taller than me._ That silent strength that she was well known for beared down on him, and for a moment he considered apologizing for his little outburst. But she spoke before he could.

 

“Yes, I do.” Now Mikasa crossed her arms. “Humans are weak compared to titans, and the new soldiers had to faced that reality. We live in a cruel world, but it’s not without hope. If bandages and water can remind them of that, then yes, I think it’s helping.”

 

Levi signed, “And how do you expect them to face that reality a second time? You’ve seen their faces. They don’t exactly radiate hope.”

 

“No, they don’t. But I do.”

 

“Oh?” He uncrossed his arms, placing them on his hips. “How do you figure that?”

 

“They’ve seen me fight. In training, in Trost, they know I am strong. Like they know you are, and if we can continue to fight, so can they.”

 

Levi’s eyes widened. “...I see. You know Ackerman, we’re more alike than you’d like to admit.”

 

“Or you’d like to admit, for that matter.” He mouth was still hidden by red fabric, but he swear he saw her smirk. “Aside from the obvious stature difference, of course.”

 

“The fuck did you say?”

 

Erwin’s flare to move out erupted into the sky. People around them started to mount their horses and move out. Mikasa turned away, heading towards her own steed.

 

“Hey, Ackerman!”

 

She glanced back. “Yes, Sir?”

 

“We’ll talk about you insubordination back at headquarters.” The statement would’ve been more intense if it hadn’t been for the grin pulling at his mouth. “You’re not out of the woods yet.”


	3. They Become A Part Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know that the trip outside the walls lasted only a day, but for this fic we're gonna make the distanced longer. Leaves more room for fun things.

 

With two days left between the formation and the walls, running into a few titans was inevitable. Erwin’s strategy worked well, and for six hours they rode in relative peace. But as the sun started getting closer to the horizon, scouts sent the report up to command that a huge hoard of titan’s was heading their way from the east.

 

“It seems our only choice is to leave behind the fallen.” The Commander said gravely. “Hanji, go let the carriages know-”

 

“No,” Levi glared at the blonde from his horse. He could see the look of horror on Hanji’s face, and knew that while Erwin’s logic was sound, their subordinates and the politicians at the capital wouldn’t understand it. With Eren on the mission, and the mission itself being a failed one at that, they couldn’t afford more losses. “Erwin, let me take care of it.”

 

The man locked gazes with Levi. Their past was anything but peaceful, but they had worked hard to build a sense of trust. And right now, Erwin just needed to rely on his need to kill some of those big ass bastards. “We can draw them away and take care of it.”

 

The slip of his words made Levi’s chest ache. Had his squad been here, it would have been easy, probably Erwin’s first choice. But it was only Levi left.

 

“I’m not sending you out there to face over a dozen titans by yourself.” The blonde said.

 

“Then I’ll take Ackerman with me.” He looked back at the woman. She was riding along side the cart with Eren in it, watching with the look of a worried mother. But she seemed to sense his eyes on her, for she met his gaze and nodded. She snapped her reins, moving up alongside the two officers.

 

Erwin looked at them both, seeing the matching pair of gray eyes stare him down. They were both steely with determination and he gave in. “There’s a small forest between us and them. If you go now, you can reach it before the enemy and have a better terrain for your gear. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary. Just distract them long enough for the formation to gain some distance. We’ll send out a flare every ten minutes so you know our location. Do the same once you’re finished.”

 

Levi silently thanked him and turned to Mikasa. “Go get your tanks refilled. I’ll meet you at the rear of the formation.”

 

“Yes Captain.” She pulled back the reins, giving Erwin a respectful nod before turning around. Her red scarf whipped after.

 

“And Levi,” The commander added, “you both have twenty minutes. Don’t let yourselves be left behind.”

 

“Tch. Don’t wait for us.”

 

~~~

 

The sun’s dying rays turned amber as the two rode out. Mikasa told Armin to stay with Eren, and protect him if they ran into trouble before they returned. He had agreed of course, telling her to be careful. She had almost smiled.

 

The thundering sound of the troop had faded away, heading in the opposite direction. Mikasa looked at the captain, but his eyes remained locked on the horizon.

 

“Sir, are we really only going to distract the hoard?” She asked.

 

When he turned to her, she almost shivered. Pure, unmasked anger engulf his face. His jaw was set and knuckles white on his reins as he simply said, “fuck no.”

 

She nodded, realizing the death of his comrades was fueling his actions. _And yet, earlier he was scolding me for the same thing._ That feeling of another _moment_ was sparking in her blood again, the desire to fight and win. _Has he ever felt something like this? Did he feel like this when we fought the Female Titan?_

 

The light was a deep crimson when they saw the hoard. At least twenty titan’s were heading their way but the forest was close by. Mikasa’s eyes met Levi’s and again, like in the forest, she knew exactly what to do.

 

They broke away from each other, Mikasa heading for the hoard as her captain made a beeline for the trees. She could see their faces clearly now, two 10 meter titans and one 8 meter had broken away from the rest, running at full speed. Once she had their attention, she curved her path towards the nearby forest. She snapped the reins once more and as her horse started running flat out, she stood up on the saddle. Drawing her swords, she closed her eyes and waited for the shade of the forest to envelop her. She wanted until she could sense _him_ move into action. At the sound of pistons firing and twanging of metal cables, she opened her eyes.

 

The mouth of the 8 meter titan was less than a yard away from her. She was glad she’d closed her eyes. “You’re a good looking one, aren’t you?”

 

Just as it snapped it’s jaw shut, she swung out of it’s grasp. Levi was taking care of the two 10 meter giants, and she sliced through the nape of 8 meter before it could trample her horse. Their corpses crashed to the ground, steaming and shuddering. Mikasa saw Levi standing on a tree branch, and she flew up to plant herself on the tree next to him. They were spruce trees, like the ones that had grown behind her childhood house. The smell took her back to that cottage from so long about, but she came back to reality once she looked down at the brunette.

 

There was a grimace on his face, he had his weight shifted awkwardly off of his leg- _Oh no._

 

“Your leg...”

 

He glared up at her. “I’m fine, worry about yourself.”

 

So he hadn’t told Erwin. She gritted her teeth in anger. “You didn’t tell the comandor, did you?” She hissed, “you shouldn’t even be here with that injury.”

 

_How could I have forgotten? Why didn’t I say anything back then?_

 

“Idiot! We need to focus, at any minute more of those shitheads will be here.” He pointed his sword down at the glade. “You cut up their limbs and I’ll-”

 

“No,” the anger had melted away, leaving behind a cold, commanding tone, “We need to go back, we can’t fight with you in this condition.”

 

“You have a real problem with following orders, don’t you Ackerman?”

 

She didn’t like how he spat out her surname.

 

“Just fucking do as I said, that’s an _order,_  soldier.”

 

A titan came barging through the clearing before she could argue. They both swung into action and she had no choice but to obey. Together, the incapacitated and killed the titan in under ten seconds. Mikasa would have been impressed, if she hadn’t been concerned.

 

She could see it now, how his movements were stiff and slower than they had been in the forest of Giant Trees. The image of carrying back is body to the squadron flashed in her mind. _No, no more deaths today._ So when two more enemies broke through the glade, she moved before he could.

 

That electricity sparked and exploded, more powerful than adrenaline. She cut both the titans down in a flash, stopping only as they fell to look at Levi, as if to say _see, I’ve got this. Don’t do something reckless._

 

But he did.

 

Three more titans, all above 12 meters entered the forest and Levi lead the attack. They took them one by one, knocking them down like dominos. Once again, with hardly any past experience, they were in perfect sync. On the last one, Mikasa’s gear snapped out of it’s hold on a tree’s bark, but she didn’t panic. Levi had already seen it. In mid air, he swooped down and grabbed her hands, swinging her back up so she could deal the killing blow.  Soon, the trees were clouded with the steam of the corpses.

 

Landing on a tree branch, Mikasa's brows knit together as she scanned their battlegrounds. The steam of the titan’s decaying flesh made visibly low, and at any moment the next wave could hit without them ever seeing it. She tried to find Levi, finally catching sight of his gear flashing in the sun on the other side of the clearing.

 

“We need to move out!” She yelled, just barely making out his approving nod. He looked tired.

 

“I’ll fire the smoke signal, go find the horses and let’s get out of here-”

 

It happened too quickly. For all their skills, neither of them could have reacted fast enough. Mikasa saw through the fog as two sets of teeth appeared from behind the trees.

 

Behind Levi.

 

She screamed for him to look out, but it was too late. She jumped, flying towards his location as fast as she could. She heard the crunch of bone, and Levi crying out in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was eaten by my computer first time around, so I had to rewrite it and at this point I just want to get it posted. If you see any errors please let me know! Also, who doesn't love cliff hangers?


	4. Every Time You Bleed For Reaching Greatness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little shorter of a chapter than I meant it to be, but hope the quality is good!

 

Levi hadn’t felt panic in a long time.

 

For a brief moment, through the steam, he and Mikasa made eye contact. He realized her eyes weren’t gray, they were flicked with violet. And they were wide with absolute fear.

 

He heard her scream, turned and saw the titan too late. He launched his gear, adrenaline electrifying his muscles and he almost, _almost_ made it.

 

The teeth snapped down on his left leg, he felt the sicking cracking of bones and his knee popping out of the socket. He screamed every curse word he knew, slicing his blades down across the titan’s face, but it wouldn’t let go.

 

 _Is this it?_ He dealt savage blow after blow, mangling the titan’s flesh. Each swing of his sword became more and more desperate. _Is this really how I die?_

 

“Let him go!”

 

Levi looked up just in time to see Mikasa flying by, cutting the nape of the titan. It staggered forward, tripping over one of the decaying rib cages and fell to the ground. It’s mouth loosened, just slightly, but it was enough for Levi to yank his leg free. He tried to find a hook for his gear, but he missed, and crashed.

 

 _Oh, fuck this._ His head snapped against the ground, rolling across the glade until he hit a tree trunk, hard. _I hate this forest._

 

Everything was spinning, the adrenaline still hammering in his veins telling him to get up, _get up or you’re dead for real._ He grabbed the tree, nails digging into the dry bark and he found his footing. Or at least half of his footing.

 

His left leg was a mess. The knee was bent out in an awkward position, the skin ripped up and bleeding through his clothes. _That fucking stain is never coming out._

 

He heard footsteps and almost drew his swords, but something in the back of his head told him not too. That it was only _her._

 

“Captain! Are you alright?” Mikasa was atop his horse, halting in front of him. He saw how her brows creased, looking him up and down. “Oh my gods, your leg-”

 

He limped over to her, taking her hand as he hoisted himself up onto the horse, ignoring how the action made the cartilage in his knee grind. “Get us out of here, Ackerman.”

 

She was already kicking the horse into a run. They galloped through the trees, and once the hot mist cleared, they could see the rest of the hoard. Five more titans were running into the forest, away from them. Mikasa steered the horse away, back towards the west.

 

“We need to send out a signal, the flare gun is in the satchel.” She eyed his leg, seeming relieved that it was his leg and not his head the titan had bitten.

 

“Right, what happened to your horse?” Levi loaded up the gun, sending a trail of green smoke up into the sky. It was almost dark, the last of the sunset dipping below the horizon.

 

“One of the titans crushed it. We’ll get another from the formation.”

 

_If we reach the formation._

 

The thought wasn’t his alone, he knew she was thinking the same. It had been almost fifteen minutes, and if Erwin had taken Levi’s advice…

 

They rode west at full speed, sending out a flare every ten minutes. They both searched the skies, looking for an answering signal. But none came. The weight of the situation wore down on Levi’s shoulders. He didn’t want to say it, or even think about the fact that-

 

“They left us behind.”

 

He looked up at Mikasa, although her eyes stayed ahead. She was surprisingly calm, sitting up straight as she slowed the horse to a trout. He wished he had the same sense of calmness. That panic was still gripping his heart, his only relief was the pain of in leg, a reminder of harsh reality.

 

“It would seem so.” Levi said.

 

“We need to find a place to rest,” she pointed at a clump of trees, “There, if we can-”

 

“No, if we stop we’ll only fall more behind.” Levi saw the woman clench her jaw. “We have to keep going.”

 

“Would you let me finish?” She snapped. “We can’t ride like this, you’re going to bleed out before we reach the formation. We have to stop.”

 

“Did you forget all your training, Ackerman? If you stop moving out here, you die. The titans aren’t going to wait for us to have a picnic. We have to keep going.”

 

“You should have thought of that before.”

 

“You wanna repeat that, _cadet._ ”

 

Her eyes were fierce now, shooting a death glare over her shoulder at him. “I said you should have thought about mobility before you left. You knew that coming out here injured was a risk, and it didn’t pay off. Now, we need to take another risk, but this time I ask you use logic instead of pride.”

 

He couldn’t help tightening his fingers in annoyance, even though they were currently holding onto Mikasa’s hips. “You’re questioning my judgement now? Whose spend more time out here, huh? Where’s the logic in giving your _commanding officer_ orders?”

 

“An injured officer, _sir._ ” She used the title like an insult, “you know we can’t keep going. If we stop now, we can still ride through the night. As I recall from my training, _sir_ , titans are less active when the sun is down.”

 

“All the more reason to keep going, _Ackerman_.”

 

He could feel her last thread of patience snap.

 

“I’m not carrying your body back to the walls!”

 

He opened his mouth to speak, something about how sometimes that’s a soldier's job, but he knew better. He only nodded, even if she couldn’t see.

 

Mikasa must have taken his silence as an agreement, for she turned the horse north, towards the grove of trees.

 

_Of all the people to get stuck out here with, it just had to be her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess you could say this mission started out on the wrong leg. #dadjokes


	5. Relentless You'll Survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to unleash some feelings.

 

_Of all the people to be left behind with, it had to be him._

 

Mikasa decided to leave the horse unhitched, it wouldn’t wander and in case more titans appeared, she didn’t want their only mode of transportation to be smashed. She petted it’s nose, thanking it for working so hard as she looked up at the sky. Night had fallen, and one by one the stars poked through the blackness. The trees here reminded her of the ones in the Giant Forest, only a little smaller. Thick foliage, tall trunks and tangling branches. It was the perfect place to stay out of sight.

 

She decided to use her gear to get up to the first branch and climb from there. There was no reason to waste gas, especially since there was no way to refill them now. She made her way to one of the topmost branches, where Levi was sitting.

 

His leg was bent at an awkward angle, blood matting the edges of his torn up pant leg. She could tell the knee was out of its socket, muscles were torn, his femur mostly likely broken.

 

He had his head leaned against the tree bark, eyes closed. Doubt was settling in Mikasa’s mind, knowing that the longer they were out here, the smaller their chances of survival. _If we were both in peak condition, maybe, but with his leg like that...Fuck…_ But she closed her eyes, willing away the uncertainty in her thoughts. She needed to focus, take one thing at a time, starting with getting that knee back into place.

 

Levi hadn’t spoke since her little outburst on the horse. Under different circumstances, she would have felt obligated to apologize. But she didn’t, instead taking out her swords.

 

“The fuck are you doing.” Levi’s eyes were still closed. “Hope you’re not planning on an amputation.”

 

She glared at him. “Don’t tempt me.”

 

Mikasa sliced through the tree trunk until the bark was hacked away. She made a notch, carefully carving out the soft wood and splitting it in half. She put them next to Levi, examining the damage.

 

Levi didn’t speak, only watched her as she cut away the bloodied cloth. She bit her lip and signed. “I’m going to have to push the knee back in, and it’s gonna hurt.”

 

He signed too, resting his head back against the tree. “Just get it over with.”

 

She gripped his leg, remembering how she’d seen Dr. Yeager set a patient's leg years ago. She’d always been fascinated by his job and sometimes he’d let her help. Mikasa never thought she’d be putting it into use like this.

 

“Alright, on the count of three,” She shifted her fingers, noticing how well toned his leg was. “One, two-”

 

“Wait, do you even know what you’re-”

 

“Three.”

 

The bone snapped back with a sickening crack. Levi flinched, biting his lip and stifling a shout. “ _Fuck_ , woman. Give me a warning next time.”

 

“I did,” She took out her canteen, pouring out some of the water to clear away the blood. “Learn how to count.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Very funny.”

 

She used a handkerchief to clear away the wound, thankfully the blood had already sealed around the opening. She wished she could stitch it up, but had no tools for that task. She looked around their little campsite, looking for something to wrap his leg.

 

Only one thing was suitable.

 

Mikasa glanced up at the captain. His eyes were squeezed shut, breathing heavily as a slight sweat broke out on his forehead. Realty was crushing her, all the likely outcomes of their situation filling her head at once. So many things could go wrong if they weren’t careful...

 

Her heart was aching as she slowly took off her scarf.

 

“You know,” Levi said, eyes still shut, “I’m a little surprised you’re willing to help me, especially since I’m the one who kicked the shit out of your brother.”

 

She scowled at him, setting up the two pieces of wood to make a splint. “I haven’t forgotten that.” The brunette tied her beloved scarf around his knee, pulling it a little too tight to make a point.

 

He winched, opening his eyes. Levi’s face contorted in confusion, looking at her then at the scarf tied around his leg. “...Isn’t that your-”

 

“Yes, so don’t move around too much, if you bleed on my scarf I’ll strangle you with it.”

 

“Noted.” He sat up, looking over her work.“...Where did you learn how to do this?”

 

“My adopted father. He was a doctor.”

 

“I see...You should talk to Hanji, she’d go fucking nuts to have another trained medic in the squadron. If we get back, that is…”

 

So the doubt was in his mind too. For the first time in a while, Mikasa was afraid. Such a foreign feeling in her throat, an emotion usually grown from panic. But the odds were not in the favor, that was a fact. They only had one horse, next to no provisions, the more experienced of the pair was seriously injured, and the titans…

 

“Hey, Ackerman.”

 

He didn’t spit her last name like he normally did. He said it softly, almost with kindness.

 

“Listen, I know things look pretty bleak right now...But if there’s anyone, in the entire history of the Survey Corps that can survive out here, It’s us.”

 

She faced him, shock on her face. “Huh?”

 

“Like you said earlier, we’re stronger than the others. We both have what it takes to fight, even when it’s hopeless. So that’s what we’re gonna do now, right?”

 

He seemed so confident, so sure of himself - _no, he’s sure of us. That we can make it, like we did against the Female Titan, together._

 

“...Right.” Somehow, she managed a smile. “We can do it, together.”

 

~~~

 

Levi had voiced against Mikasa going out into the forest alone, but she did anyways. She’d slipped away like a shadow, saying she’d be back in half an hour. So he sat tensely, waiting for her to return.

 

_If she gets herself killed, if I make it back without her…_

 

He thought of Eren and Armin’s face, the anger and blame their faces would hold for him. The look of disappointment in Erwin’s face. No, he couldn’t bear the thought. He had served the military for many years, his late life had been dedicated to mankind. When he closed his eyes, he knew dying outside the walls had always been his fate. Ever since he put the damn cape on, he’d signed away his life. Dying a painful death was always on his mind, it drove him to fight harder, to save more lives.

 

It’s what made him step between the Female Titan’s hand and Mikasa.

 

He sighed, looking up at the sky. He remember how as a child, he’d dream of seeing the stars. He’s mother had told Levi stories of the sun, of the clouds and the blue sky that was bigger than the caves. He remembered riding out for the first time, seeing the freedom above and the sun’s rays on his face. But that freedom had a price. Farlan and Isabel had payed it, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, and Petra had too. If it came down to it, Levi knew he’d be ready to put his life down like they had. Because Mikasa was too young, still had too much life to live, for her to die out here.

 

Levi looked down at his knee, remembering how quickly she had been there to save him, to argue about his health, to use the scarf she was never seen without as a bandage. _She didn’t even hesitate. Even after beating up her brother, she didn’t hesitate to help me._

 

_...Why?_

 

Again, he didn’t hear or see her first, he felt her. That sense that she was scaling the tree, carrying something with her. It was strange, not that he felt it, that it was happening _again._

 

They had decided to not light a fire, so when she stepped onto the branch, Mikasa was illuminated by moonlight. She looked different, outside of the formation and away from the battle field. She looked like a _woman_.

 

A sleek, toned build. Elegant hands that could slay giants, surprisingly pale skin considering how much time soldiers spent outside, and smooth black hair much like his own. And her eyes, _I never noticed they were violet._

 

Mikasa set down a bundle of greens, dandelion leaves and lamb’s quarters. Since when did they teach foraging in cadet classes?

 

“Wow, nice job. Did you get cooking lessons from a rabbit?”

 

An almost smile pulled at her lips. “Maybe, ask the rabbit.”

 

She tossed a dead hare at him without looking, apparently knowing he’d catch it.

 

“Damn, I guess you did.”

 

There was that smile, brief, almost unseen, but there. He liked it.

 

They risked a fire, a small one, to cook the game. Mikasa kept watch while Levi skinned and roasted the hare. He glanced up once in a while, and she apparently knew he was watching her each time. It was uncanny really, how each time their eyes met. From atop the trees, she looked ethrael. Unlike the other soldiers, she emitted power and strength, but also pain. Her eyes were always burdened with sights she couldn’t unsee, but would never speak of. They really were alike, and that worried Levi.

 

He’d grown up in the Underground, his life rooted in tragedy from birth. But if he remembered right, she’d grown up in Shangisha, a relatively safe town before the fall. He also recalled that during Eren’s court hearing, an officer said that Mikasa and her brother had stabbed three sex slave traders. That he parents had been brutally murdered.

 

So they both had sob stories, and so did everyone else in the regiment. That didn’t explain this... _connection_ they shared. For once in his life, Levi wished Hanji was here.

 

They relocated to another tree, just in case a titan decided to investigate the smoking remains of their campfire. They ate and finished off the water Mikasa had left. In the awkward silence that followed their meal, Levi figured he might at well ask what was on his mind.

 

“Um, so…”

 

She was looking down at the forest, still alert, as she spoke. “You want to know why we’re alike, what makes us different from the others.”

 

He raised his eyebrows. “Yes, actually, how did you-”

 

“I know because you do.” She tapped at her own head. “I’ve noticed it too, ever since we fought the Female Titan.”

 

He nodded, absentmindedly playing with the fringes of the scarf on his leg. He wasn’t sure how to word this, but if she was right, she probably already knew what he wanted to ask.

 

“Did you, ever have a...a _moment_?”

 

“Where every inch of your being felt on fire, screaming at you to fight?” She nodded. “Yes, it happened when I was little. When my parents-”

 

She stopped herself, closing her eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was his own memories that made his chest ache, or hers. It was getting hard to tell.

 

He signed, looking down at the red fabric. “I was young too. I grew up in the Underground you see, and one day, something just snapped. I haven’t been the same since. I’ve had control over my body, unhindered by fear ever since.”

 

“Me too,” She sat down in front of him, legs pulled up to her chest. “I’ve never heard anyone talk about something like this before. I thought it was just adrenaline, but it’s not. It’s different.”

 

 _We’re different,_ went unsaid between the both of them.

 

“Did it happen again for you, in the forest?” She asked, though she said it like an answer.

 

“Yes, I think it’s why we fought so well together, even though you made it a point to stay away from me until them.”

 

“You turned my brother into a punching bag!”

 

“Kicking bag, I never punched him.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

There was that smile again.

 


	6. They Never Lose Hope

They rode back out later that night. The crescent moon lit their way as they traveled west towards the walls. Mikasa insisted on taking the reins, much to Levi’s disapproval. But they made good time, avoiding the silhouette of titans as they went.

 

Mikasa could feel the exhaustion settling into Levi. It worried her, but she stayed focus. Even when he nodded off twice, she only grabbed his arms and made sure they were tightly around her so he wouldn’t fall off.

 

By the time the sky began turning gray, Levi had fallen asleep again. But this time, his fingers dug into Mikasa’s jacket, she felt his brows knit together on her shoulder. Something was wrong.

 

The feeling was back, a pressing presence that wasn’t her own in the back of her mind. She felt pain, regret, and loss, and even fear. It felt like a nerve was being ripped out, stinging so bad she felt tears pricking at her eyes.

 

She turned, risking taking her eyes off the horizon. “Captain, sir, wake up.”

 

He mumbled, grabbing her waist tighter. She made a face, _don’t you dare try and-_

 

Even if it wasn’t his intentions, the touch made her cheeks burn. Mikasa shook his good leg, trying to rouse him out of whatever nightmare he was facing.

 

_Or memory he’s reliving._

 

“Hey, wake up.” She looked back again, suddenly shocked. _Are those...tears?_

 

Now she was really worried.

 

She blamed growing up with a brother like Eren, because her first instinct was to elbow him in the ribs. He jolted awake, reaching for his swords.  

 

“Hey, Levi!”

 

He looked at her, and she wondered how she never noticed that his eyes weren’t gray, they were hazel. He shook his head, as if the motion would erase whatever he’d been dreaming.

 

“Sorry, just…”

 

“I know.”

 

She pretended to not see him wipe his sleeve across his eyes.

 

The sun was slowly rising, as were the titans. She spotted them in the south, slowly breaking the spell that night held over them. They had to take cover again.

 

“Keep riding west. There’s an abandoned village nearby.” Levi said.

 

And fifteen minutes later, they found it. It was in ruin, walls smashed down and rumble tossed left and right. They checked the wreckage for any enemies, but it seemed the place was truly empty. It was eerie when they rode into the town square. Merchant stands still stood, carts and barrels laid out like they were still wanting to be picked up. Mikasa saw a doll, tossed aside with the debris. It looked handmade. She hoped the child that played with it made it out alive.

 

“Over there,” the man pointed, “that shitty building is still in one piece. Mostly.”

 

She looked up at the clocktower, and he was right. Compared to the rest of the town, it was perfect. A high point overlooking the area, with most of its walls intact. Minus the huge hole where the clock face should have been.

 

Once they dismounted, Mikasa saw to the horse while Levi went inside. She watched him walk, or rather, limp away. _It’s getting worse._

 

At least she’d have a good chance of finding more previsions here. There was bond to be a well, and maybe some overgrown gardens. _Maybe I can find some ginger, and if I’m lucky a white willow._

 

She remembered her mother teaching her what medicinal properties some wild plants had. It reminded her of home. Of her mother’s smile and her father’s eyes. Though the memory hurt, she was grateful to them. As a family of hunters, Mikasa at least knew which plants were safe and how to catch game. She only wished she wasn’t putting her family’s skills to use like this.

 

After giving the horse one last pat, she followed Levi inside. The stairs were still there, leading up to the clock tower. Inside, the old gears were rusted and covered in dust, like the rest of the room-

 

Actually, the place was quiet clean. She frowned in confusion, but them almost laughed when she saw her comrade.

 

He was _cleaning._

 

He was furiously dust off the bricks of the walls, swiping at the cobwebs like he would titans. When he saw her, he only scowled more.

 

“This place is disgusting. I found a dead rat over there.”

 

“It’s only temporary. Why, you planning on moving in?” She saw the smile that tried to take over his face and wished it would stay.

 

He looked out at the view. “Maybe, I kind like how this part of the wall is missing.”

 

“Sure, rustic charm.” Mikasa picked up the satchel that held all their shared belongings. Two water canteens, a compass, and the flare gun. “I’m going to see if there’s anything useful still left, I’ll try to be back before the sun breaks the horizon.”

“No, you should rest.”

 

She shook her head. “The longer we wait, the more titans that will wake up.”

 

“Exactly,” Levi shot a glare up at her, “don’t worry about what’s out there, you haven’t rest in almost a day.”

 

“I can rest once we have more food and water.” She crossed her arms. “If we don’t have nourishment, we’ll become weak, slow, and we’ll die. End of story.”

 

“You’ll be even weaker without sleep, stop arguing or-”

 

“Or what?”

 

Tension brewed between them, saturating the air.

 

“Or I’ll _order_ you.” His eyes were absolutely stunning, just the right amount of light was illuminating the kaleidoscope of colors around his pupils. Browns, amber, dark gray, and unbridled annoyance stared at her. Almost asking her to challenge his authority.

 

She was more than happy too.

 

“Then consider this my official act of insubordination, _captain_.”   

 

Mikasa left, and through her own feelings of annoyance and slight excitement, she felt his. Anger, exasperation, and to her surprise, _amusement._

 

~~~

 

It was strange just how at home Mikasa felt.

 

The place was quiet, save for a few sparrows fluttering through the trees. Everything was overgrown with brush, reminding her of the wild mountains where she grew up. She recognized almost every plant, remembering the walks through the forest her father would take her on.

 

_“You see that? That’s called Fireweed. And do you remember that those are called?”_

 

_Mikasa sucked on her thumb in thought, a bad habit her mother was trying to rid of of. “Um, Chicken Weed?”_

 

_Her father laughed. “Close, they’re Chickweeds, honey.”_

 

_“Can I take some home for mama?”_

 

_“Of course, Mikasa. I think she’d like that.”_

 

Her heart ached as she plucked at the delicate, daisy like flowers, gathering a small bundle in her hand like she had so many years ago. She still remember how to make a flower crown. It was nice to use her hands for something so gentle, instead of training them how to hold a sword and kill.

 

Walking in what she figured was once an alleyway, she found just what she hoped for - a garden. It was unkempt, she’d have to tell Hanji that her theory that titan’s farmed was a bust. She smiled at the idea, but it quickly fell.

 

_If we make it back at all…_

 

She could pretend to be confident with Levi, but she’d already come to terms with dying. It was her fate after all, to die a gruesome death at the hands of humanity’s greatest enemy. She knew it was only time before she fought her last fight, and accepted her first and only defeat. But she never thought it would be like this, without Eren.

 

That’s the whole reason she’d joined the military. To protect and fight for Eren. Mikasa could only hope that the formation had made it to the walls, that the Military Police hadn’t gotten their hands on him yet. But Armin was with him, and though he wouldn’t admit it, he was strong beyond belief. He would make sure Eren didn’t get tangled with the wrong people, that he’d be safe. That alone brought her peace.

 

_Besides, if I die out here, at least it won’t be alone._

 

_At least I have him._

 

After filling the satchel with a few carrots, tomatoes, and brambleberries, she found a well. And something that might bring that smile she liked so much back to Levi’s face.


	7. When Everything's Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody likes reading every minute of every moment, and sure I don't like writing them. So there are a few time jumps for these scenes, more than I'd like to have, but I didn't want to make you guys read a bunch of fat to get to the meat (so to speak). Hope you like it! The ship is leaving the dock!

Levi sat near the broken wall, watching the sun rise and watching for Mikasa’s return. He didn’t want to admit how relieved he was when he caught sight of her. She came back with food, water, and a broom.

 

_Is she...wearing a flower crown?_

 

Little white flowers encircled her head, starkly different from her black hair. She looked...pretty. She put down the satchel, sitting across the room from him, leaning against the east wall. Pulling out one of the canteens, she tossed it across the small room at Levi. He caught it, a little unnerved that she aimed with so well without looking. She still wouldn’t look at him or speak as she started peeling one of the carrots.

 

Levi drank the water, eyeing the brown. Was it meant as a jab, or an apology? Something told him both.

 

Standing up was terrible. His left leg ached, swelling had set in around the joint making every movement painful. He gritted his teeth each step he took on it, hobbling across the room. He could feel Mikasa watching him out of the corner of her eyes. He pretended she wasn’t there, as childish as it was. He grabbed the broom, looking it over.

 

_Dusty, bristles still in good condition. There’s no way she just happened upon one...unless she looked for it._

 

He looked over at her, a question forming on his lips. _Why?_

 

It was creepy how she could read his mind, quite literally. She looked up at him, that smile he liked so much on her face.

 

“Because I knew it’d make you happy.”

 

~~~

Only after she’d seen him eat did Mikasa finally agree to sleep. Curled up in a corner, she’d made a pillow out of her cape and been out like a light. Levi was glad, because now he could finally think without another mind bothering him.

 

It was weird, so fucking _weird_ to have another person’s thoughts mixed in with his own. He didn’t know what to do, how he should feel about it. It was a violation in a way, for someone to have access to his emotions so openly. And in a way, it was wrong that he could feel Mikasa’s emotions too.

 

 _How ironic._ He thought, glancing over at her sleeping figure. _I’ve always worked so hard to keep any feelings off my face. And now someone can see right through my bullshit...and I can see through hers._

 

It was even more ironic, that out here beyond the walls where he’d most likely die, he’d become closer to anyone than ever before.

 

Midday brought on the summer’s heat. Levi went through his canteen quickly, sitting in the shade but keeping his eyes on the dead city. He felt feverish, the pain in his leg growing stronger with each painful throb. Levi knew he didn’t have long.

 

When Mikasa woke up an hour later, he didn’t have to look at her to know she was worried. He heard her grab something out of the bag, but he was too tired to look. His eyes fluttered shut, listening to something being ground up.

 

 _Why was it so hot in here_ …

 

He jolted when she put her hand on his forehead.

 

“Calm down, I’m not going to kick you to pieces like you did my brother.”

 

There was no malice in her face or voice. Is this becoming a joke?

 

She knelt in front of him, handing him her canteen. “Drink it, all of it.”

 

He took one sip and almost spit it out. Levi made a face. “What did you do to it?”

 

“Don’t be a child. It’s white willow bark, it’ll help with the fever and the pain.”

 

“I don’t have a-”

 

“Yes you do.” She shoved the container back in his face, tapping her head with her finger. “You can’t lie up here.”

 

He fell asleep not long after that, and maybe it was because he was dozing off, but he could swear he felt Mikasa squeeze his hand.

 

~~~

When Levi woke, it was dark out, and raining.

 

He shivered. The small downpour sending a steady cold gust through the east wall, that wasn’t really a wall. Levi panicked when he didn’t see Mikasa, until he did.

 

The woman was sitting next to him, her cape wrapped across them like a blanket. Her eyes were alert, still watching for titans, but also him.

 

“Feeling any better?” She asked, just as softly as the rain.

 

“Yeah. Thanks, where’d you learn-”

 

She looked away, and he felt the sadness welling in her heart.

 

“Ah, I see.”

 

He leaned back against the wall, aware of their touching shoulders. They listened to the rain pounding down on the bricks, an uneven yet constant melody. That sadness still pressed down on Levi’s heart, the alien feeling of carrying someone else’s pain somehow familiar.

 

_No, not the feeling. The emotion itself is familiar._

 

Levi suddenly wondered just how strong this connection was. Closing his eyes, he tried to find in his mind where the link was forged. It was difficult, like finding a single droplet of water in a river, but he found it. Like a string, binding their two minds together. He shut his eyes tighter, concentrating, trying to follow it from his mind to hers…

 

_Mother._

 

_Father._

 

_Blood, s_ _creams, so much blood-_

 

Mikasa gasped next to him and he opened his eyes.

 

“What did you do?” She sat up, grabbing her head like it would explode, “How did you do that?”

 

“I, I’m sorry.” The man held up his hands. “I didn’t mean to-”

 

“Just stop, whatever you did, just _stop it_.”

 

 _Oh my god_. He watched in horror as she covered her face, but not quick enough to hide the tears swelling in her eyes. _Oh my god, I made her cry._

 

He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t make his mouth work. Levi reached out to touch her knee, but remembered how intense she could be when emotion, and thought otherwise. She was still wearing her swords after all.

 

The rain wasn’t nearly loud enough to drown out the sounds of her trying not to cry. He heard each suppressed gasp, every sniffle. He felt so bad, but he knew if he spoke, that anger in her chest would burst and he’d be walking around with a black eye.

 

“Limping.”

 

He jumped at hearing her speak.

 

“You’d be limping around with a black eye.” She wiped her eyes, resting her chin on her knees. When she saw his face, she tapped her finger right in the middle of his forehead. “It’s a two way street, dummy.”

 

“So what, you’ve been poking around in head this whole time?” He wasn’t mad, just surprised he hadn’t noticed. “How did you-”

 

“I had to figure out the difference between ‘in moderate pain’ and ‘I’m too manly to show pain’ somehow.”

 

Levi laughed.

 

And so did Mikasa.

 

While they waited for night to fall, they talked. No mind sharing or whatever the fuck it was that they had, just talked.

 

He told Mikasa about his mother, that she used to braid his hair because it was so long. She didn’t believe him when he said he knew how to braid, which resulted in a truly terrible attempt at braiding a strand of Mikasa’s hair. She had laughed when his fingers got caught.

 

He really liked the sound of her laugh.

 

She told him about the day the walls were broken, the chaos of the city and watching her adopted mother die. It was the day Eren became obsessed with killing titans, she said. Levi asked if that’s why she joined the military, because of her brother. When she told him that Eren was the only family she had left, Levi made a promise.

 

“Look, if it gets too thick, if it comes to helping me or saving yourself, you save yourself. Got it?”

 

She frowned at him, “Don’t even say that.”

 

“It’s a reality, I’m injured. I can’t help you fight properly. I’ve lived my life, but you still have one to live, and someone to live it for.” He looked away, at the rain that was slowly thinning. “I don’t have that, and it doesn’t make any sense to-”

 

She grabbed his chin, pulling his face back to hers. Those gray, violet eyes were burning holes into his. Levi would’ve been terrified if it wasn’t for how close their faces were.

 

“Don’t fucking talk like that.” She let go, crossing her arms. “You said we can make it, and I know you were half lying but I’m not. We either get back to the walls together, or we die.”

 

That fierce look melted away into a softer one.

 

“Either way, when night falls, we’re doing this. Together.”

 

Mikasa scooted closer, pressing her side against his. “Now give me more of the cape, I’m freezing.”

 

~~~

 

When Levi woke up, he was cold.

 

He looked to his right and once seeing Mikasa wasn’t next to him, fear pushed up his throat. “Ackerman?”

 

No answer.

 

She wasn’t in the room.

 

“Fuck. Hey, Ackerman!” He noticed that it was dark out. The sky was clear and the moon hung low with the stars. After getting over the hassle that was standing up, he used to wall to support his weight.

 

_Where did she_ _go?_

 

He took a step forward.

 

_Did she go back to the well? How late is it? Why isn’t she back?_

 

He made another step towards the open wall. Panic sizzled through his core, he tried finding her mind, but he was still alone even there. It was awful.

 

_Is she...dead?_

The thought of finding her corpse, of carrying her back on the horse to her brother terrified him. But not nearly as much as the thought of being out here alone.

 

“Mikasa!” He shouted, limping faster over to the hole, hoping he’d catch a glance of her outside. “Hey, Mikasa-”

 

Feet pounded on the stairs behind him. Before he could turn around, her hands grabbed his shoulders, yanking him back.

 

“Hey, what do you-”

 

She pulled him do, covering his mouth with her palm. “Be quiet, don’t move.”

 

That’s when he heard it; the heavy footfalls like thunder.

 

Both their hearts skipped a beat. She crouched down lower, pulling the hand away so she could grab her sword hilt. Levi sat awkwardly in front of her, unable to put that much weight on his wounded knee. He could only lean back into her chest, feeling her heavy breathing and pounding pulse.

 

Its face slowly passed by. The titan’s eyes were half closed, lumbering past them as if dreaming. But for a moment, it stopped. Mikasa’s knuckles tightened around her weapon, Levi felt all her muscles tense, ready to fight. And though it wasn’t his own, he could feel her adrenaline high.

 

He could feel that moment.

 

But the titan continued walking past them. They held their breath until they couldn’t hear it’s footsteps anymore.

 

Mikasa slowly released her sword and helped Levi to stand. “We need to get moving.”

 

“Yeah, but we have one problem.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“There is only open country between this town and the walls.” His eyes darkened. “If we leave now, we can’t rest again, we’ll have to cover almost an entire day’s ride. And if we run into titans…”

 

She nodded, taking in the information. Levi felt their shared emotions of fear and doubt. But something else was bubbling to the surface, a feeling that came from the woman before him. She squared her shoulders, held out her hand, and smiled, radiating that feeling.

 

“Then let’s hurry up and go home.”

 

Levi felt hope as he took her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head's up, the next part of the story starts to get a little intense. I've you haven't listened to the song the title and chapter names are based on, I'd highly recommend giving it a try. It'll give you a sneak peak on the story. ;)


	8. And The Fighting's Near

The night sky held the scent of rain. The clouds still blew across the face of the moon, casting the plains into shadow. The flat horizon was still, only a few trees breaking it’s surface. Each time something loomed in the distance, Mikasa watched for movement. To see if it was a walking creature, or the swaying branches of trees.

 

The cold kept her alert. Any sleep that tried to take hold of her eyes was carried away by the bitter wind. The horse’s hooves pounded the ground beneath them, carrying them northwest. After an hour of riding, she couldn’t feel her ears or nose. But her back was warm, where Levi held onto her.

 

They rode in intervals of trouts and galloping, trying to keep the horse from exhaustion. Only once did a figure turn out to be a titan, forcing them to reroute around it. It wasn’t until all the rainclouds has been blown away did Mikasa relax, more confident in visibility.

 

She looked back at the captain, finding his eyes trained on the horizon like hers had been. She wondered how many missions outside the walls he’d been on, if he recognized any of the landmarks or towns.

 

  _Of course he does. This was once the interior of the walls, before the fall._

 

The woman made a mental note to indulge her curiosities later. To ask him what it was like beyond Wall Maria, if he ever saw anything of the things in Armin’s book. Lakes of fire, fields of ice, or even mountains bigger than the ones she grew up on. For a moment, she wished the titans have never existed. Not because they killed humans, not because their presence forced them to live behind barricades, but because she wanted to know. Wanted to see the world, see things that people called fiction with her own eyes. And she wanted to see them with Eren and Armin, find the big waters they called the ocean.

 

 But more than anything, right now, she wanted to see Levi’s smile.

 

 Honestly, a week ago she probably wouldn’t have believed he was even capable of making one. Things had been so different, it was almost ridiculous how forty eight hours could change so much. But she wouldn’t have wished for anything different.

 

 Because together, they were stronger than they could’ve ever been individually.

 

 “Hey, what’s this horse’s name?” She asked.

 

 “It’s Four Legs.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Nope.”

 

_Cracking jokes, even now._

 

His humor made hope swell in her heart, making her smile.

 

“C’mon, he’s done so much for us.” She gave it’s brown mane a pat. “I should know his name so I can thank him.”

 

“He’s a horse, it’s his job.” He said dryly. “Why do you care?”

 

“Because without him, we’d already be dead.”

 

She couldn’t tell if she felt him shrug his shoulders, or _felt him_ shrug.

 

“It’s Chestnut.”

 

“Aw.”

 

“It’s because he’s brown.”

 

He was smiling when she cast him a stink eye.

 

“Very funny, captain shrimp.”

 

“Eat shit, brat.”

 

The sun rose and climbed high into the sky, and they kept riding. Levi had fallen asleep for the last hour, but that didn’t stop Mikasa from knowing just how drained he was. White willow bark wasn’t going to fix a broken leg, and its pain relieving effects had long since worn off. They were only six hours away now, and while they had come so far, so much still go wrong.

 

Titans were easier to spot, but they were awake now. They’d encountered six of them that afternoon, just barely sneaking by without detection. But this luck couldn’t keep up forever. Chestnut was slowly, surly tired and running on his last leg. She wished they could rest, but without a single village or glade in sight, they had to keep going.

 

At four hours away from the walls, Mikasa spotted them.

 

She counted six of them coming from the south, clearly following them. The horse gave it’s best speed, but it wasn’t enough to outrun them. They couldn’t afford to veer off course.

 

They would have to fight.

 

Levi, now looking more feverish than ever, told her to give him the reins. She understood, and with a bit of awkward maunervering, they switched places. She grabbed his shoulders, slowly standing on the saddle as he slowed the horse down. She drew her swords, and waited.

 

This time, the _moment_ happened slowly. It grew like a storm with every mile the titans gained on them. She closed her eyes. The electricity slowly gave command to every inch of her being, flexing her shoulders, regripping her swords. It ignited in Levi as well, growing in strength with every heartbeat.

 

When they came, the Ackermans were ready.

 

~~~

 

Mikasa jumped when the first titan reached for them. Levi pulled back on the reins hard, turning the horse away from the giants as his partner launched into the sky. She attached her gear to one of the titan’s shoulders, an 8 meter. She sliced her way through the two biggest bastards, swinging around to the 10 meter with a gaping mouth.

 

The man knew where she was going by instinct, kicking the horse into top speed to met her. His leg ached with the action. Mikasa flew down, cutting up the 10 meter titan and landing in a roll. Her gear unlatched, and she grabbed Levi’s hand without looking. He pulled her back up onto the horse, letting her use his shoulders as balance. They pulled around, looking for the best position to strike again.

 

“There.” He raised his hand and pointed. “Between big mouth and shorty.”

 

“That’s funny from you,” she shouted, but took his advice. He brought her close enough to find a hold in the 6 meter, using gas to glide across the ground and up to the titan’s nape. He smiled, watching her slay down the beast and take on the next one.

 

_Damn, she’s good. Even though the terrain isn’t suited for ODM, she makes it look easy._

 

Mikasa caught his gaze, returning his smile as her swords sent blood flying. Steam was slowly rising from the dead titans, making the first rays of the sunset all the more hazy. So he didn’t see the titan right away, but thanks to the slightest widening of Mikasa’s eyes, he was able to move in time.

 

Jumping off the horse, he snagged his line into the approaching titan’s side. Using gas to propel himself, he angled his strike perfectly. The wind whipped his hair as his swords cut, a little messier than he would have liked, but it did the job. It crashed to the ground, the same stunned look all titans had when they died on it’s huge face.

 

Unfortunately, Levi had the same expression as it landed on the horse.

 

The impact of the fall sent him tumbling off it’s back, unable to dismount properly because of his leg. He fell next to it, cursing when his knee gave out under his weight. Looking back, he saw the horse’s head sticking out from under the titan.

 

Chestnut was dead.

 

And so was their hope of reaching the walls.

 

Levi was vaguely aware of Mikasa yelling his name, killing the last two titans. He stared at the dead animal. Shock froze his limbs as he sat, breathing heavily, thinking too fast.

 

_It’s over. We can’t get to the walls on foot. It’s all over. I failed, I couldn’t keep my promise. We’re both gonna die, it’s over-_

 

He sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes before shouting, “Mikasa! Get the hell out of here!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta add some humor before everything goes to shit.
> 
> ...Also sorry for killing Chestnut. ;-;


	9. It's Deep In Their Bones

Mikasa couldn’t believe her ears.

 

_He’s telling me to run?_

 

“I know you heard me!” He shouted again, “Get the fuck out of here!”

 

She froze, standing on top of the last titan she had killed. The steam was getting thicker, but she could still see him. His eyes were begging her to listen, to _run._ Looking at the horse, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

 

_It’s over…_

 

“Go! Just run for it! I can do my best to distract them, but you have to go, now!”

 

And that was his mistake. Because while her instincts told her to do as he said and her legs swelled with adrenaline, she wouldn’t leave him. Not now, not when they were so close.

 

“No!” His voice was breaking in desperation. “I know what you’re thinking, but don’t! I can’t run, I can’t fight. I’m dead weight, do you hear me?”

 

She slid down the giant, at first walking, then running through the smoke like steam.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Mikasa, you can’t-”

 

She picked him up, hooking her arms under his legs and shoulders, and started running.

 

Levi tried to push her away, to make her drop him, but she held on with an iron grip. An unbelievable amount of adrenaline coursed through her body, and she ran faster than she thought was possible, towards the walls.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

 

“I’m getting us home.” She looked down at him, at his angry face that masked his disbelief. “We’re either going to die, or we’re going to win. But no matter the outcome, we’ll see it through _together_.”

 

He didn’t reply. Levi looked down, considering her words. She felt the spinning of his head, battling his logic and his heart. But just as the sun began its descent, he gripped her shoulders in a tight embrace.

 

“Then...I’ll keep watch on the south. And don’t drop me.”

 

She laughed, breathless from running. “I’ll try not too.”

  


That energy that surged through Mikasa stayed, longer than any _moment_ had before. She only slowed when they saw titans, carefully moving out of their path. Levi stayed awake the whole time, keeping watch on their rear like he said he would. Occasionally he made her take a drink from the canteen, a silent request to no overdo herself. But she kept running, for four hours, the burn of exertion only fueling her to run harder.

 

Whenever her body felt like it would fail, when her legs felt brittle and ready to break, she’d look down at the captain’s leg. At the red scarf still wrapped his knee, her fingers brushing the fabric. _Fight. Fight and win. If you don’t fight, you can never achieve victory. The only way to win is to fight._

 

And whenever her lungs felt ready to burst, like they were on fire with panic and she couldn’t breathe, she looked at Levi. He’d turn to met her gaze, wrapping an arm even tighter around her. Those eyes were like two moons, a calm and reassuring beacon. A cool breeze through her core. She could feel the admiration, adrenaline, and _hope_ radiating from his mind.

 

And she kept running.

 

Three times they couldn’t avoid their enemies. Each time, she’d set Levi down, and he’d load the flare gun. They’d let the titan get in range, and as Mikasa launched her gear into it, he’d pull the trigger. The smoke would blind the giant long enough to the woman to get into position and kill it. Each time she swung her swords, sending blood splattering to the ground, she sunk deeper into exhaustion. But she’d pick Levi up again, and continue running.

 

If he sensed her weariness, he didn’t comment on it. But she could tell she was slowing, that her legs weren’t working like they should. That burning in her muscles was an inferno, and she was slowly succumbing to it.

 

“I spot four behind us,” Levi said. She felt his heart dropping. “Mikasa, I don’t know if we can make it…”

 

“Yes we can,” she smiled, nodding at the sight ahead. “Look,”

 

The walls were in sight. Bathed in the light of the sunset, they stood tall on the horizon. She wanted to collapse, to close her eyes and give in to her body. But they were close, so close-

 

“Mikasa, Eren is on the other side of the walls.” Levi grabbed her head and made her look at him. “You can do it, leave me here and they won’t catch you. You can make it back to your family.”

 

His words made tears swell up in her eyes. _He’s right, dammit I just want to see them again-_

 

But the price was too high. The cost of her life by sacrificing his was not an option. Not after everything he’d done for her.

 

She shook her head free of his hold, cracking her neck. Taking in the situation, searching for solution. She needed speed, she needed to just get them to the walls, the grappling hooks of her gear would do the rest.

 

She could use her gas.

 

Mikasa put him down, and for a moment, he had a terrible look. That she was going to do it, that he’d be left behind. But she grabbed his arms, hooking them around her neck. “Hold on!”

 

She jumped forward, using her now free hands to press the triggers. The compressed air in her tanks released with a hiss, and they went flying. It was like sprinting, her feet pushing off the ground and back up into the air every other footfall. Her legs almost couldn’t keep up with the momentum, but she kept her eyes trained on the walls.

 

Levi was clinging to her back, obviously shocked by her methods but smiling at her creativity. “You’re a fucking genius, Ackerman.”

 

She felt him looking back at their pursuing attackers. She could tell by his tensing that they were running after them now.

 

It would be close.

 

One was faster than the others, right on their tail. Levi grabbed the flare gun again, taking aim at its face and firing. Mikasa heard it groan, the sound of it’s footfalls slowing. But it was a temporary fix.

 

They were so close, she could see the cannon on top of the walls, the metal glinting in the fading sunlight. As Levi watched the titan gain ground on them, she prepared herself to use her ODM. She launched the hooks, watching them take hold in between the gray bricks. She pulled the triggers, yanking them up into the sky. She felt her feet hit the stone, and relief washed over her body like cold water.

 

_...We, we made it!_

 

“Mikasa!”

 

She felt the titan’s giant hand close around her legs, taking every ounce of hope in its grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for two cliff hangers in a row! Next chapter will be out soon though, don't worry! <3


	10. They'll Run Into Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter as an apology for the cliffhangers! Let me know what you think!

Levi already had the flare gun loaded.

 

Black smoke enveloped them Mikasa shouted, struggling to free her legs. But he could _feel_ the exhaustion in her bones, the desperate struggle to use strength she didn’t have anymore. Her pulled one of her swords out of her hand, slashing at the giant fingers. Then tension in the cables twanged as a few fingers fell away. She kicked at the remaining digits, screaming.

 

Even when the hand vanished in the smoke, Mikasa was shaking. His arms were wrapped around her chest, and he could feel how it fell and rose unevenly.

 

 _She’s hyperventilating._  

 

He clicked back one of the triggers, sending them up into the air, into safety. She barely planted her feet, scraping up her knees. When they finally stilled, she was in full blown panic. He knew how her throat felt like it was closing, her lungs too heavy to push air in, she was frozen. Those sharp senses she had were melted down by fatigue. A phantom prickling of tears rushed into his eyes.

 

“Hey, hey,” he shifted, a little awkwardly since he was on her back, “Mikasa, looked at me.”

 

“I can’t, can’t-”

 

_She can’t breathe._

 

“Look at me,” Levi gently pulled her chin around. He realized how much he hated seeing those so full of tears. “Hey, we’re here. We made it. Okay? We just need to make it to the top, we can do it. No, actually,”

 

They locked eyes.

 

“You can do it, Mikasa. You got us this far. Just trust me okay?”

 

Slowly, her breathing returned to normal. She nodded, sucking in one deep breath after another. Mikasa looked up at the top of the wall, then at Levi. “...I think I have enough gas.”

 

“Okay, just take your time.” He looked down at the titans they had left behind. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

 

His leg was in agony, but he grit through it and waited for her to calm down. They hung there for a moment, listening the to grunts and groans of the titans below. Levi had the sudden urge to flip them off, and shout _starve shitheads._

 

But only Mikasa was on his mind. Her breathing pattern, her clenching muscles and shaking hands. But slowly, she steadied. She straightened, taking one last gulp of air before setting her shoulders.

 

She didn’t speak, she didn’t need to. Levi held on and she ran the length of her line, along the wall. Her hook slipped out of it’s hold. There was no going back now.

 

Levi held his breath, and for a moment, they were weightless. The sky was a burning crimson, Mikasa had a look for pure determination, and Levi felt something he couldn’t explain.

 

And then they crashed.

 

His fingers lost their grip from the impact. It sent him tumbling across the top of the wall, making it the third time he’d crash landed in forty eight hours. _You’d think I’d been getting better at this._

 

His shoulders were bruised, he cried out when his knee knocked against the stone, and his cheek rake against the ground. But the first thing he did when he got up was look for Mikasa.

 

“Ackerman!” He saw her lying a few feet away, limp and eyes closed.

 

_No. no, not now please no._

 

He had to crawl on his arms. Levi had never felt so scared. He pulled her head into his lap, checking her pulse. Her head was bleeding.

 

“You idiot, you meant to take the brunt of the fall didn’t you?” He unwrapped the scarf from his knee, not caring about how his knee cap shifted out of place. Gently, he tied it around her neck, where it should be. He fired a round of flares, hoping one of the slackers from the Garrison saw it, and soon.

 

Her eyes fluttered open, looking at the scarf then at him. “...Your head is bleeding.”

 

“So is yours, brat.” He smiled beside himself. “You did it. You fucking did it.”

 

Mikasa smiled too, eyes growing heavy. “No, we did it. _Together_ ”

 

Levi didn’t notice the tears running down his face until she wiped some of them away.

  


~~~

  


She woke up to voices. Familiar ones that melted together. She had to fight to open her eyes, drowsiness holding her back in the dark. When she did, she saw two sets of eyes. Green and blue, both full of tears.

 

“Mikasa?” Armin’s trembling voice made her smile.

 

“Sis?”

 

Her eyes filled with tears too. Eren’s face came into focus, and he roughly grabbed her up and hugged her.

 

“Eren! Be careful, her head-”

 

“It’s okay, Armin.” She reached a bandaged hand out to her friend, smothered in her brother’s embrace. “I’m okay.”

 

The blonde flung himself over the two siblings, crying like he used to when they were little. She held onto them with feeble arms, but it was enough.

 

“We thought you had died!” Armin sobbed. “You left and we waited for you to come back but you never did and everyone said you-”

 

“Did the Captain do anything to you?” Eren grabbed her shoulders, staring at her with that intense gaze. “He didn’t drag you down did he? Were you hurt because him? Did-”

 

“Hey, no. I’m fine, really, and I’d be dead if it wasn’t for…” She trailed off. Should she tell them? About the moment? About the connection?

 

_Wait....Is it still there?_

 

“Okay, if you say so.” Eren frowned. “Also, I punched Jean.”

 

“What!?” Mikasa looked at Armin.

 

“H-He was really depressed that you had died, I mean, we all thought that you had died and Eren-”

 

“He shouldn’t have gone on like that! He didn’t have the right to be so upset, it’s not like you’re his wife.”

 

Mikasa laughed, hiding her worry. _Why can’t I feel anything from him?_ “Eren, don’t crush someone’s dreams.”

 

But then she turned serious. Eren stiffened. “And what have I said about fighting with Jean? I’m gone two days and you sucker punch him.”

 

She pinched it ear, he batted her hands away. “Hey, quit it! And I’m serious! He had no right to mourn you like, like…”

 

His shoulders dropped. Mikasa softened, grabbing his hand. “Like what?”

 

“Like family.” Armin brushed away the wetness in his eyes. “We thought we lost part of out family.”

 

She looked from one to the other, her boys, her _family_ . Armin’s bottom lip was trembling, Eren wouldn’t look at her. She could imagine how difficult the past two days had been for them - no, she _knew._ That pain she felt of never seeing them again, of wondering if they were okay, it had eaten her alive. She sighed, shaking her head, which made her dizzy.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” They looked up at her, and she grabbed both their hands. “We’re staying together, as a family.”

 

“HELLO!”

 

All three of them jumped as the door banged open and Section Commander Hanji burst through into the room. She wore her usual beaming style, her goggles making her eyes bigger than they were. “How are you feeling, Mikasa!? I gave you some morphine so if you’re a little loopy it’s completely normal!”

 

“Mikasa isn’t the loopy one.” Eren mumbled.

 

His sister elbowed him in the ribs before smiling. “I’m feeling well, thank you Section Commander.”

 

“Oh good!” She flopped down on the bed, putting her face right in Mikasa’s. “No tell me, did Levi complain the whole time?”

 

“Um...”

 

“I have to know! What was it like being out there with Captain Grump?”

 

Eren laughed a little harder than he should have.

 

“Well, he…Wait, where is he?” She swallowed her fear before speaking. “Is he okay?”

 

“Of course! He’s sleeping down the hall, he wouldn’t let me do anything until I looked after you!”

 

Mikasa sighed in relief. Eren gave her a weird look but she ignored it. “I’m glad, he saved my life.”

 

Hanji smiled. “Funny, he said the same thing about you.”

 

But something was wrong. Being with her boys again, she felt it. She looked at Eren, then at Armin.

 

_There it is._

 

Armin had that _look._ The way his eyebrows drew together when he was thinking, the slight clench of his jaw that meant his conclusions were not good ones. Something was wrong.

 

“Armin.”

 

He looked at her, and just by the weight of her gaze he cracked.

 

“We...We’re working on the identity of the Female Titan.”

 

Eren scowled. “Hey, the bandages aren’t even off her yet Armin. Just wait-”

 

“We have reason to believe it’s Annie.”

 

The room fell quiet. Hanji’s smile was gone, Eren cracked his knuckles and scowled even harder. The events of the mission, the fight in the forest, they all mixed in Mikasa’s head. The facts and the accusation going too fast for her brain. But her heart stayed caught up.

 

The brunette closed her fists, knuckles going white, eyes falling shut.

 

_She killed countless soldiers. Tried to kidnap Eren. She injured Levi. She brought the hoards of titans. If she’s like the others, the Armored Titan and the Colossal Titan, her goal is to wipe out humanity._

 

_She tried to take my family._

 

When Mikasa opened her eyes, pure rage burned in her gray irises.

 

“When are we killing the bitch?”

  


~~~

 

_I forgot how fucking annoying Shitty Glasses can be._

 

The crazy woman hovered around him like a fly, buzzing constantly without shutting up for a second. He threw his crunches at her, _twice_ , before she left him alone for the night.

 

But as annoying as Hanji was, it was good to be home.

Erwin actually _smiled_ when they were brought back to headquarters. Mike gave him the most unwanted, longest hug of the century and he was pretty sure Hanji kissed his head after sticking a needle in his arm, but it was good to be home.

 

He didn’t say anything about the connection. As soon as he was all bandaged up, Erwin told him about their latest mission, the identity of the Female Titan. They already had a suspect, thanks to Armin apparently. That kid had a lot of potential under Erwin’s wing. But they couldn’t make a move yet. In a week and a half, they were ordered to report to Central Command, to hand over Eren. Erwin managed to buy them time, saying Eren wasn’t fit for travel. And nobody wanted a titan to explode on the main street when pain was his trigger.

 

So he said nothing of this seemingly physic connection he and his subordinate had. It could wait until after this mission. The whole squadron was quietly preparing for this venture, that could end in complete disaster. But Levi couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

He just wanted to make sure Mikasa was alright.

 

When he woke up later that night, just after midnight, he felt her. She was finally awake, as was their connection. He could tell she was tired, angry, but also worried.

 

_I’m fine, just hold on._

 

It wasn’t Levi’s first time using crutches, but it didn’t make him hate them any less. The hallway was empty, only moonlight leaking from the windows gave him a clear path. He was still a little lightheaded from whatever Hanji gave him, so he took his time.

 

He didn’t have to guess which room was hers, he knew. He knocked twice, though he got the impression it wasn’t needed.

 

“Come in.”

 

The room was dark, but the window was open. The cool night air blew the curtains lethargically, and her hair. Even with bandages and bruises, she looked calm and collected.

 

Until she met his gaze.

 

"Hello Captain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MIKASA AND EREN ARE TECHNICALLY SIBLINGS. I will write them as such. I understand the undertones of more than platonic love between them in the manga and anime, however, that paring in not the center of of this story. So they are siblings. And I'm excited to write them as such!
> 
> Also! Get ready for fluff!


	11. When The Fire Is Fierce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for waiting! I've been pretty busy with work, but I finally got around to working on this story again! Hope it lives up to the wait!

 

It was awkward, seeing Levi like this. Something about the light from the moon, standing with crunches in her room, made him seem like a different person. His hair was clean, cut, and his clothes weren’t stained with blood. Out there beyond the walls, he’d been all adrenaline, loud survival instincts in his head and an almost constant frown of worry on his face. Just like she had been. But not now. He looked like Captain Levi, the cold blooded, quiet man that always looked bored.

 

And Mikasa wasn’t sure how to talk to this Levi. 

 

The greeting died in the air, addressing him by his title felt appropriate yet alienating. She looked away from him, closing her eyes.  _ So what now? Do we go back to how it was before?  _

_...Can we even go back? _

 

There was too much shared between them now. More than she’d let Eren or Armin even know. Outside in the wild, it was comforting. To know that someone was just as afraid, as determined, and as utterly exposed as yourself. But here inside the walls, it was just plain uncomfortable. 

 

Because now, she cared. Mikasa cared that he lost his squad, his friends. She cared about his health, she cared about what he thought of her. And this connection made everything so transparent. Her feelings, her thoughts, he’d seen them. Even experienced them. They’d argued, made up, taken care of each other, saved the other’s life. 

 

Seen the other cry. 

 

It had taken years of trust and friendship for Mikasa to open herself up like that to her brother and Armin. Levi had seen it all in the course of two days. And because of that, she could tell he was just as comfortable as she was. 

 

The man was looking at the window like it was the only thing in the room. Avoiding eye contact, she had come to realize, was his way of distancing himself. To appear uninterested, like he didn’t care. But he did. 

 

_ You care a lot, don’t know?  _ She thought.  _ You care more than anything but you never show it. Like me.  _

 

“Do you wanna sit?” She patted at the empty space. “You probably shouldn’t let the blood run down to your leg. It’ll increase the swelling and make it more painful.”

 

_ Sure. Medical talk to break the ice. Why not.  _

 

He looked at her, then at the bed. Slowly, like each step towards her would get him court marieled, he moved over and sat down. His back was stiff, but she could tell why. 

 

Even with all the awkwardness between them, she could feel the unbridled amount of worry coming through their connection. He was concerned for  _ her _ . 

 

“...I’m fine.” She almost whispered. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah.” He propped his crutches against the foot of the bed. “I’m okay.”

 

The silence that followed was horrible. Mikasa wanted to scream, anything to cut the quiet. Her head was full of her own thoughts and Levi’s, too many to distinguished between the two. That’s when it hit her. 

“Did you tell anyone-”

 

“No,” Levi finally looked at her, “did you?”

 

Mikasa shook her head, and he nodded. 

 

“Good...With all this planning for the next mission, I thought it was best to keep this between us.” Levi said. 

 

“I agree.” Mikasa let out a sign, but it didn’t relieve the tension in her chest. “Captain, may I ask-”

 

“Look, don’t call me that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just seems stupid. I’m not your captain anymore, up in our heads, we’re equals. So just call me Levi.”

 

_ Like out in the forest,  _ went unsaid. 

 

“Okay. Then can I just ask, where do we go from here?” 

 

The man shrugged. “I don’t know. I really wish I did, but there’s not a rule book about how to handle a situation like this.”

 

“But how can we hide this?” Mikasa brushed away a loose strand of hair, staring at nothing. “I mean, how can we control this? I’m a soldier, and sharing a mind with a captain can be…”

 

“A big breach of security? Yeah, I thought about that. I’m just glad it’s you and not that Braus kid.”

 

Mikasa felt a smile tug at her mouth. “True. You have my word, I won’t say anything.”

 

“Neither will I.”

 

His words held a real gravity to the full extent of their situation. They knew things about each other, things that they’d buried deep in their hearts. And if the connection stayed, more and more graves would be unturned for the other to see. It was unnerving to say the least. 

 

But it was because of this connection that they survived. Being able to work together, to know the other’s limits and when to push on past them. Mikasa looked over at the man, a smile breaking out over her face. 

 

“What?” Levi questioned, but the realization hit him a moment later. 

 

“We made it.” She laughed a little, relief and reality squeezing her heart. “We actually made it.”

 

The corner of Levi’s lips turned up, despite his best efforts not to smile. “We did. It’s insane really, that two people could make it as far as we did.”

 

“It’s amazing.” Mikasa couldn’t stop smiling, almost giddy. “We made it.”

 

“You said that. How much medicine did Four Eyes give you?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Don’t talk to your captain like that, brat.”

 

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Are you naturally a pain in the ass or do you try?”

 

Levi made a face. “I try very hard, thank you.”

 

“Good to know.” She became more serious, looking him dead in the eyes. “But, thank you. For everything out there.”

 

“Same to you, Ackerman.”

 

“It’s Mikasa.”

 

“Alright then.” He moved to get up. “You should sleep more, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”

 

“Levi-” She grabbed his hand, and something ignited in her chest. A warmth, a small flame that bloomed when she touched him. The same feeling of when Eren wrapped that scarf around her years ago. “I’m glad we could become friends, even though I got you injured in the process.”

 

The man truly smiled this time. The awkwardness from before had melted away, and it was like they were outside the walls again. Open, honest, and ready to jump back into the fire.

 

_ We can do anything, together.  _

 

“Don’t worry about.” He squeezed her hand before letting go. “And I’m glad too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon. Like I said earlier, this is a slow burn, but we'll get rolling with this romance real soon! Also to clarify, the time line will be a bit stretched out so I can fit in a more realistic relationship development. I know it's not cannon, but neither is this ship (sadly) so anything goes! :D


	12. They're Written Down In Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: fluff ahead.

 

Mikasa had never been more proud of Armin.

 

This was the fifth meeting to plan the capture of the Female Titan. They all sat in the common room of the castle. It smelled musty down here, the way old buildings do, but pleasantly. In each of these meetings, Armin presented a new plan with as much gusto and enthusiasm as the first. And Mikasa couldn’t help but feel proud of his confidence, especially since for so many years he kept his brilliance hidden away. Now, he displayed it proudly, even when arguing with Eren.

 

“That’s not going to work Armin,” Eren crossed his arms, “Annie’s not that stupid to trust us.”

 

“How would you know?” Jean shot back. “Nobody knows her, at least not the real her. If we did then-”

 

“Shut up, idiot!”

 

_Here we go._

 

Mikasa looked down at the end of the table, where Levi was sitting. He had his arms crossed, leaning as far back as possible in his chair. Almost like he wanted to sink beneath the table and crawl away. _I wouldn’t put it past him._

 

As important as these meetings were, they usually brought about arguments. And Jean and Eren always seemed more than happy to start them. Levi looked at her, and rolled his eyes. She felt his annoyance, and she was sure he felt hers too.

 

“At least I’m not the dumbass that still doesn’t believe that Annie’s the Female Titan!”

 

Jean’s words enraged Eren.

 

“Why you son of-” He started to stand, but Mikasa yanked her brother back down.

 

“Okay, that’s enough.” Erwin looked up from the papers Hanji had given him. “I think Arlert’s plan is sound. Hanji, do you think your squad can make a trap with the materials we have left?”

 

“Yeah!” The woman put her fists in the arm in excitement. “Let’s start planning it now!”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Mikasa saw Levi plant his palms on his face.

 

_Goddamnit, now this meeting is going to last forever._

 

Mikasa visibly flinched. She pretended that Eren and Armin weren’t staring at her, taking a long sip of water.

 

Because she heard him. _I heard his thoughts. I didn’t think that,_ he _did. That hasn’t happened since...Since outside._

 

Ever since they returned from outside the walls, a gravitational pull keep Mikasa and Levi together. They didn’t tell Hanji about this “connection” as they referred to it, for they both knew it would distract her from Eren and the mission at hand. So they said nothing, and kept each other’s ever constant presence in the back of their minds.

 

However, some things did change.

 

Mikasa realized the captain suffered from insomnia, Levi figured out that she used her scarf like a security blanket. Every morning, they developed a routine. When they first woke up, they’d gently probe the connection in their minds, almost checking to see if the other was there. Almost saying “good morning”. And every night, Mikasa would close her eyes, let her mind wander to his and sense his weariness. Each time, he’d reach back, assuring her that he would _eventually_ sleep and she should focus on her own. Almost saying “good night”.

 

Words hadn’t been communicated since those two days, just emotions. The most prevalent one being the loneliness the two shared. It was strange to carry this weight of another person’s regrets with her own, but Mikasa never complained. Levi had once told her that the moment he saw her, he knew they were the same. Two people, broken down by the world’s cruel nature, but still fighting for it anyways. Indeed, when it came to this loneliness, it was often hard to tell where his mind ended and hers began.

 

And now everyone was staring at her.  

 

“I um…” She looked over at Sasha, who sat across from her. “Sorry. Sasha kicked me.”

 

“Huh?” The face of pure horror on the brunette’s face was comical.

 

Jean rolled his eyes. “Yesh, how are you this clumsy woman?”

 

“I didn’t! I mean, I don’t think I did-”

 

“Let’s just talk more about this tomorrow.” Levi interjected. “I’d really rather not listen to Hanji babble on for another hour.”

 

Now Hanji looked offended. “Hey, I have a nice voice to listen too!”

 

“A broken gas tank has a better pitch than you.”

 

Mikasa noticed the smile the Commander was trying to hid as he spoke.

 

“I agree with Captain Levi, let’s return to this matter tomorrow. It is getting late.”

 

There were a couple of sighs of relief as the younger Scouts got up. Mikasa stayed sitting, saying goodnight to Eren and Armin as they left the room. She waited until Levi got up, matching his way with his crutches past her. He spoke low enough for only her to hear.

 

“My office, ten minutes.”

 

She didn’t nod, not wanting Connie or Hanji to see. Instead she stood up, heading towards where the sleeping quarters were. She took of her gear, giving every appearance to her roomate Sasha that she was getting ready for bed.

 

“Seriously Mikasa!” The other girl wailed. “Why did you say? Did I actually kick you? I don’t remember, I wasn’t really paying attention to be honest but-”

 

“Sasha, it’s okay.” Mikasa took off her jacket, glancing at the clock. “You just stubbed my toe is all.”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

 

“Sasha, really it’s okay, and don’t get down on your knees when you apologize.”

 

But she didn’t. As Connie called it, the ‘Sasha Grovel” was impossible to stop.

 

“Please forgive me! Don’t be angry and murder me in my sleep!” Her eyes widened. It reminded Mikasa of cow’s eyes. Big, brown, and full of childlike belief. “...You’re not gonna slit my throat tonight, right?”

 

“Uh,” Slowly, she inched towards the door. “I mean…”

 

“Please don’t! I have so much life to live! Please!”

 

“I’ll think about, okay? Goodnight.”

 

Mikasa closed the door within an inch of Sasha’s nose. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding in the empty hallway, rubbing her forehead. _Why do we have to be the only women in the squad. I mean, there’s Section Commander Hanji but…_

 

She shuddered at the thought. That woman wouldn’t make a better roommate either. Thank goodness commanding officers weren’t allowed to share close quarters with their subordinates. But the irony of where she was heading wasn’t lost on her.

 

The gossip that would spread about her seeing Captain Levi, alone in his office after lights out, would be apocalyptic. She knew the laws against interpersonal relationships with a commanding officer. Both their careers in the military would be ruined. But this wasn’t a romantic relationship, just two people sharing an unexplained connection in their heads where they could feel each other’s emotions and now thoughts.

 

_We’d sound like nutcases in court._

 

So very quietly, Mikasa made her way to the other end of the castle. She knocked softly on his office door, though it wasn’t necessary. He knew she was there. When she slipped inside, closing the door after her, she saw the captain sitting at his desk. A chair was pulled around next to him, and she sat without a word. He was making tea, the smell a delicate aroma in the otherwise musty room. A single candle was light, illuminating the study filled with books and maps and Levi’s emotionless face.

 

“Took you long enough. What held you up?”

 

Mikasa shrugged, sitting at the chair across from him. “A Sasha Grovel.”

 

“Oh god.” He poured her a cup of tea, adding two sugar cubes to without asking. He didn’t need too.

 

“Yeah,” she made a face, “it wasn’t pretty.”

 

“That explains the sudden urge I had to kick something.”

 

“Please don’t. Everyone was nice enough to write on your cast.”

 

Now Levi made the same disgusted face. “Don’t remind me of Sonny and Bean Jr. on my leg.”

 

“I honestly had no idea before Commander Hanji could draw so well.”

 

They both had little smiles, that warmth of companionship setting them at ease. Keeping up the facade that she still disliked the captain was proving hard. In fact, she liked his company.

 

_When he’s not being a grumpy bastard, he’s not too bad._

 

“Okay, I heard that.” He sat up in his chair. “What the hell is going on?”

 

“You did?” Mikasa felt a blush creeping up on her cheeks. “Because I heard you, I mean, I _felt_ you complain about the meeting earlier.”

 

“That’s why you started acting all weird?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Great. So now we can read minds.”

 

“Just each other’s. And we did it before” She corrected. “But it hasn’t happened in a while, so I thought it just faded away. It’ll will making it more difficult to hide this…”

 

Mikasa trailed off. How would one define what they had? Soldiers in arms was too broad. A mentor and student wasn’t even close. Slightly awkward friends with a telepathic connection was hard to say out loud.

 

“This _thing._ ” She finished. “Are you sure we shouldn’t tell Hanji?”

 

He rubbed his temples. “No, not with the mission only two days away.”

 

Silence followed, and they both finished their tea. Mikasa’s thoughts were swimming, and not just about the mission. She was worried, because over the past week more than a sense of friendship had taken seed in her heart. Now that a wall of pure hatred for the man was gone, it left room for something else. Mikasa was a woman, and she had eyes.

 

Levi was good looking. That was a fact. And if he could read her mind all the now, it could spell out disaster. _It’s just a crush, that’s all. It’s because we were in a life or death situation. And I can feel his thoughts. And he’s got beautiful eyes._

 

“Can you hear my thoughts now?” Levi asked, snapping her out of her mental downward spiral.

 

“Um, no I can’t.”

 

“I can’t hear anything from you either.”

 

 _Oh thank god._ Mikasa hid her relief in a cough. “Do you think that was just a one time thing?”

 

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Levi moved aside the tea, ruffing through the desk drawers until he pulled out a glass bottle of dark liquid. “I just want a drink, do you like gin?”

 

“Do you have to ask?”

 

They talked for a little while longer about the upcoming mission. They both believed Armin’s plan was sound, except to two things. Levi wasn’t allowed to fight, and it frustrated him to stand by without helping. And Mikasa was worried about Eren.

 

“He just doesn’t seem to realize that Annie is the Female Titan.” She signed. “The evidence it overwhelming, I’m just worried that when the moment comes, he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.”

 

Levi took another sip of his drink. She knew he was savoring the burn of it before speaking. “Honestly, if I’ve learned anything about that kid, it’s his insane determination. If plan A fails, and she transforms in the city, he can’t deny what his own eyes see.”

 

“That’s true. I just hope it doesn’t come to that.”

She poured them another round. “So how’s the leg doing?”

 

He clicked his glass against hers casually. “Still aches, but you know that.”

 

Mikasa hid her smile behind her teacup.

 

“Hanji doesn’t want me taking off the cast yet, but I probably will when we ride out to central.”

 

“You really shouldn’t, the bone could set improperly and cause further harm.”

 

“You sound just like Shitty Eyes.”

 

She laughed, “Do you have nicknames for everyone?”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“What’s Eren’s?”

 

“Brat. All of the newbies are brats.”

 

“Including me?”

 

She spoke before should could think her words through. Her scarf hide her blush, but she knew he felt her embarrassment. But was she different from the others? Did he mean what he said outside the walls, or was it just the adrenaline talking?

 

“No…”

 

It was hard to make eye contact, but Mikasa managed.

 

“I don’t know what yours would be actually.”

 

“Reckless Idiot, maybe?” She poked, and it got a smile out of him.

 

“Don’t tempt me.”

  


~~~

 

When Mikasa went to bed that night, her cheeks wouldn’t stop burning. She told herself that it was the alcohol, nothing else. She pulled the covers over her head, like it would put a barrier between her mind and Levi’s. But she did like him. He was a good man, even if he didn’t want the world to see it.

 

As she fell asleep, she traced the connection back to him. She felt his buzz, his exhaustion, and that warm feeling she had come to know as a wordless ‘goodnight’. Mikasa returned it, even as that warmth felt like it would burn through her chest.

 

~~~

 

Only once they exchanged their goodnight and he felt Mikasa fall asleep, did Levi slap himself in the face.

 

_No. No, absolutely not. No._

 

He knew the laws in place, he knew how fucked their careers would be. Levi told himself that it was because they spent two days together outside the walls, that it was because they were closer than any two humans were supposed to be. That maybe this mental connection was melting his brains.

 

But deep down, he knew what the real problem was. He liked Mikasa. He was a man, and he had eyes, and frankly what wasn’t there to like? Sure, she had intense eyes that could depict an incredible about of murderous intent _that were a beautiful shade of violet._ And she had the physical strength of ten people, _and why was that such a turn on?_ But it couldn’t happen. He was her captain still, and they had rules to follow.

 

Besides, the idea of opening himself up to someone was terrifying. It took him years to become friends with his squad, and now they were gone. It always happened like this, he’d make a bond with someone and they ended up dead. It was like a curse, one he wouldn’t ever wish upon Mikasa. But she had been so kind, not just outside the walls but within. He knew she was aware of his insomnia, and the dreams that woke up him at night. She would often wake up too, always sending a warm feeling his way that she’d never speak of in the daylight. But that warmth was there, and he wanted it to stay.

 

_But I can’t. As much as I want to say something, I can’t. I have to bury this, pretend it doesn’t exist. It can’t happen, there are rules that we both swore to follow when we beceme soldiers...Intense mental connection or not._

 

That night when he fell asleep, Levi had never wanted to break a rule so badly in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha. It's gonna get so fluffy guys. I'mma melt your hearts and mine. <3


	13. But You'll Never See The Price It Costs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Levi is depicted as stoic and unfeeling, but to be honest everyone person I've meet IRL like that always has the biggest hearts. And I'll write him as such. If you don't agree with that or a BAMF Mikasa, you're reading the wrong fic. :P

 

The night before the Survey Corps left for the Capital, no one could sleep. The weight of the possible outcome, that a cadet from the 104th class could be a killer and a traitor, laid heavily on all their shoulders. Sasha and Connie had barely eaten dinner that evening, just picked at it. Jean and Eren were constantly at each other’s throats, and while Armin step in each time to break them up, Mikasa knew he was glad for the distraction. In a way, all of the new Scouts were. The thought that Annie, though a distant person, was the Female Titan was too terrible to think on. It had worn down Eren, his sister could see it.

 

She only hoped that he could come to terms with reality before everything fell apart. 

 

Mikasa left the common room early that night. Seeing so many faces clouded their own dark thoughts was too much right now. She couldn’t console all of them, but if she stayed she might try. The woman passed Levi on her way out, briefly meeting his gaze. 

 

His expression gave the appearance of boredom, but she knew better. The way he was sitting, how his fingers kept twitching, she knew he was angry. Angry that he couldn’t fight tomorrow. Mikasa couldn’t blame his desire to fight, but shot him a hard glare anyways. 

 

_ No. You have orders, you know that, _ her eyes said. 

 

Levi rolled his own eyes, huffing out a sign as he got up. He walked with her out the door, and she slowed her pace so they could walk in stride. 

 

Only once they were in the hallway did they speak. 

 

“I’m not carrying you again, so don’t think about it.” She muttered, though no one was around to hear them. “The Commander ordered you-”   
  


“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck about orders right now.”

 

Mikasa felt his annoyance filling up her chest, an ever present emotion in the captain for the past few days. But she had the feeling that anger was masking something else. 

 

“Well, we can only hope Plan A works. That she plays into our hands.”

 

Levi stopped, looking her dead in the eyes. “Do you really believe she will?”

 

“...No.” She confessed. “I believe half of the city will be burning this time tomorrow.” 

 

“So do I. That’s why I’m sneaking in my gear.”

 

“You’re hopeless.”

 

“I’m optimistic.”

 

They parted ways, heading towards opposite sides of the castle. Mikasa looked back, analyzing his walk. He had broken the crutches just to piss off Commander Hanji, but the limp was still there.  _ He can’t fight like that. And he doesn’t need too. The entire Survey Corps will be meeting us there. We won’t be the only ones this time, we’ll have a team. He’ll break his other damn leg if- _

 

_ No I won’t. _

 

Mikasa glared at the back of Levi’s head. “I will if you’re not careful.”

 

“Then I’ll be careful.” He looked back at her, giving her a wink. “Just don’t be reckless tomorrow.”

 

“No promises.” To her own surprise, Mikasa winked back and hurried down the hall before she could see his reaction.

 

Their little head conversations were happening more frequently now, making everything more complicated. This morning, she’d passed the salt down to Levi at the breakfast table without either of them saying a word out loud. It thoroughly bewildered everyone present. Mikasa could only hope he didn’t hear any of her more concealed thoughts. 

 

Like how cute it was when he sneezed. 

 

An hour later when it was lights out, Sasha’s snoring wasn’t the only thing keeping Mikasa awake. She had listened and learned the main plan, the backup ones too, over and over again. But she was still worried. Eren had always been a strong willed person and she had every confidence in him...usually. 

 

But it was  _ Annie.  _ Not a titan with no name, no personal history. It was one of their friends. His resolve was wanning, she could see it. And he was a key part of their plan. If he couldn’t transform, and if Annie got away, they’d lose everything. Erwin might be demoted, the Survey Corps would never make it to Wall Maria, and Eren-

 

_ I’d lose him. The Military Police would take him and I’d never see him again. They’d do all those awful things they mentioned in court to him. Maybe even to me… _

 

_ As if I’d let that happen.  _

 

Mikasa groaned, rubbing her face. 

 

_ Why aren’t you asleep, Levi? _

 

_ Could ask you same. Stop worrying already. You’re keeping me awake.  _

 

_ Sorry.  _

 

Mikasa rolled over, hugging pillow and closing her eyes. She tried to let sleep pull her into unconscious, but every worse case scenario still flashed behind her eyelids. 

 

_ Mikasa, I meant what I said. Or thought, whatever, but the point is nothing is going to happen to Eren or you.  _

 

_ How can you be sure? This world is cruel. Anything could happen tomorrow.  _

 

_ But it’s not without hope. I’m pretty sure your classmates would riot if those political shitheads got their hands on either of you. And as much as you don’t like it, I’ve got your back.  _

 

She almost laugh aloud. 

 

_ I’m glad you do. I don’t hate it, I just don’t want to get you hurt again because of me.  _

 

Mikasa could almost feel his eyes roll. 

 

_ For the last time, it wasn’t your fault.  _

 

_ Yes it was.  _

_ Don’t make me come over there.  _

 

_ I’m sure Sasha would wet the bed if you showed up in our room.  _

 

His laughter was a deep rumble in the back of her mind. 

 

_ Almost worth it.  _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

Mikasa didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she woke up three hours later she couldn’t breathe. She sat bolt upright, eyes wide and gasping. Her chest felt unbelievably heavy, her throat constricting almost painfully. She had to claw at her neck to make sure it wasn’t actually magically wrapped in a noose. Tears pricked at her eyes, sorrow and pain blooming up in her heart as she tried to take a deep breathe. She recognised the signs of the panic attack, the adrenaline slowing flooding her blood as she curled her legs up to her chest.  

 

_ What is wrong with me? Why am I on the verge of crying? Am I- _

 

That’s when she realized it wasn’t  _ her  _ feelings, not  _ her  _ terror that was threatening to burst her into tears. It was  _ his.  _

 

This connection Mikasa had with her commanding officer had never been this intense. It was just a gentle sense of unity, of sensing his annoyance before the scowl made it to his face. Not a crashing tidal wave. It only worried her more that she felt his emotions so strongly, and how much more intense his own experience must be. She knew where his room was, knew that if she knocked on his door like this, he would push her away. But she couldn’t let him drown in his own mind alone, not this time. 

 

So, with as much focus and calmness as she could manage in her mind, she tried to convey two words. 

 

_ Tea. _

 

_ Now. _

 

~~~

 

Nightmares were nothing new, not for Levi. He even avoided sleep as much as possible because of them. Every other night or so, he’d wake up in a panic only to stay awake until morning. It was normal, routine. But dreams like this were truly terrors. 

 

He sat on his bed, shivering and holding his head in his hands. Screams of dead soldiers rang louder and louder in his ears. Every time he blinked, he saw their faces. The blood, the expressions of pain and fear that they’d all died feeling. Because of him, because he left or he made the wrong choice or he wasn’t fast enough. 

 

Isabelle’s smile. Farlan’s laugh. Their corpses left cold in the rain. Petra’s blood splattered up the tree’s trunk, neck snapped and eyes glossy. Her father’s happy face that burst into tears when Levi told him his daughter had died. Oluo smashed down into the dirt. His favorite color had been green. He had six siblings and eight nephews and nieces. Eld had a younger sister that he always wrote letters too. Gunther was an only child, his parent’s pride and joy.

 

Levi’s lungs wouldn’t take a gulp of air, his vision becoming blurry and blurrier. 

 

_ All of them, and countless others are gone. It’s my fault. I couldn’t save them, and it’s all my fault. My choices, their blood on my hands. My orders, my fault, my fault- _

 

Her voice was steady in his head, cutting through his own thoughts like a knife. 

 

_ Tea.  _

 

_ Now.  _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

She felt him before she heard him. Both of the soldiers were quiet, but the connection made it impossible for either of them to sneak up on each other. She poured them both a cup of amber colored tea before turning around.

 

Mikasa became worried, and she knew Levi could tell. He looked vulnerable, something she never thought would describe humanity’s strongest soldier. His hair was messy, wearing rumpled pants and a white shirt that was damp with a cold sweat. He wouldn’t met her gaze, the lack of seeing those stormy gray eyes look up at hers was unlike him. Arms crossed, he fidgeted with his sleeves like Eren used too when he was a boy. And even when she stepped towards him, holding both their teacups, he still won’t look at her. 

 

“...I made chamomile.” That tightness in her chest was still present, though the man was trying hard to keep it from her. “Was it another nightmare?”

 

He flinched at the word and said nothing, merely nodded his head slightly. She held out the tea to him, waiting for him to speak. 

 

“...I’m sorry I woke you.” He took the cup, and Mikasa didn’t miss how his hand trembled. “I’m fine, you should be in bed-”

 

His fingers slipped and the cup fell to the floor, shattering. That tightness in her chest exploded as Levi gasped, his breathe followed by the hint of a sob. He knelt down and started picking up the glass shards. “Sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean too-”

 

Mikasa put her own cup down on the kitchen counter, kneeling next to him as she put her hand on his shoulder. He finally looked at her, revealing the tears she already knew would be there. They streamed down his face, his eyes wide and filled with unbearable sadness.

 

In hindsight, she had wanted to do this weeks ago. When they made it over the wall, when she saw Levi in her medical room, and the first time she woke up to his dreams. Mikasa hadn’t though, because she had time for logical thinking, for remembering the rules and why she shouldn’t. 

 

Right now, she had no time. She didn’t want to think. Mikasa just wanted to be there for him. She pulled him close, hugging the man as broke down. He buried his face in her shoulder, gripped her back like she was leave him. 

 

_ As if I’d ever leave you.  _

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so,  _ so  _ sorry.” He sobbed. “I couldn’t save them, I’m sorry, I couldn’t-”

 

“Levi,” She placed a hand on the back of his head, gently stroking his short hair. “Don’t apologize. Like in the forest, like beyond the walls, we’re in this together.”

 

Mikasa held Levi as he cried, cradling his head and gently rocking him. His shuddering chest and tears broke her heart, her own eyes blurring with sorrow. She stayed with him until exhaustion set in and carried him back to his quarters when he fell asleep. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


The next morning, they passed by each other in the halls. Everyone was running around the castle, getting ready for the day ahead. He looked over his shoulder, and when he saw no one there suddenly pulled her into his embrace. 

 

Mikasa froze, then hugged him back. 

 

Levi gave her a small, almost unnoticeable smile before squeezing her hand and walking away like nothing happened. 

  
_ Good luck to you too,  _ she thought, hiding her smile in her scarf. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo what'd you think? Future chapters will be more meaty and longer since there's more characters to juggle. May go back and add some things to the earlier chapters one day since I wrote most of those in a drunken haze at 2am. Hope you liked it!!! <3


	14. The Scars Collected All Their Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't see a point in writing down all the details of the episode in this story, so I just focused on points where Levi and Mikasa's POV were important. Hope it's still good!

 

Everything went to shit  _ really  _ fast. 

 

Mikasa saw the ring and the blade. Electric adrenaline fueling her muscles as she dragged away Eren and Armin, the explosion knocked them all forward onto the shaking ground. Annie had made her choice. 

 

“Get up!” She pulled both boys up by their capes, dragging them down the tunnel. The squad leader ahead waved them down. 

 

“What happened?” The man shouted. 

 

“Switch to Plan B!” Armin yelled back. “Annie’s transformed-”

 

Mikasa felt it again. That tingling on the back of her neck, the spark in her chest that told her to  _ move.  _ She grabbed the two’s arms, pulling them back a split second before the roof caved in. The ground shook again, and while Eren and Armin found their footing Mikasa was already standing, swords drawn. 

 

“Why?” She watched Annie’s foot rise back up to the city above. “Why would she risk killing Eren?”

 

“She made a gamble.” Armin said, eyebrows drawn. “She’s willing to risk everything now, which makes her more dangerous than ever.”

 

Mikasa closed her eyes.  _ Fuck.  _ When she turned around, Armin was talking about Plan B, but she wasn’t listening. She only stared at her brother.  _ He’s still doubting it. He saw her transform, he’s seen her kill our comrades, but he’s still not wanting to believe it.  _ Slowly, calmly, she walked over to Eren. 

 

She’d only been angry at Eren a few times. But she’d never felt this kind of disappointment from him. He tried, and tried to transform, biting his hands bloody. And nothing happened. Anger, frustration, both were foreign feelings when it came to her brother. But for once in their lives, when he looked at her for support, she gave him a cold stare instead.

 

The woman saw the betrayed look in his green eyes, but couldn’t bring herself to care. “You still don’t believe it?”

 

“Of course I do!” He shouted. His voice held no determination, only fear. “I’m going to do this, dammit! Just give me a minute.”

 

“We don’t have any time, Eren.” She said. Kneeling next to him, she stared back at his face. A month ago, she would have told him everything would be alright. She would have defended him, but not now. Mikasa saw the big picture beyond Eren. She could put her love for him under lock in key. She had too. Because right now, she wasn’t his sister. She was a soldier. The woman worth a thousand men. 

 

“Just answer me Eren. Can you transform, yes or no?”

 

Armin’s wide eyes watched her, jaw slack and speechless. Eren’s hands were shaking. She saw the tears welling up in his eyes. He wanted to fight, he wanted to do the right thing, but he couldn’t make up his mind on what the right thing was. The look of pure desperation he gave her almost made her heart melt. Almost.  

 

“I see.” He still said nothing and she stood up with a stoney expression. “Then Plan B has failed as well.”

 

The silence was cut by another rumble. The tunnel’s structure behind them collapsed, sending debris and a gust of wind past them. Eren and Armin covered their heads, but Mikasa only closed her eyes. 

 

_ So this is what it feels like. To make a choice you can only hope you won’t regret. To have the lives of others in your hands.  _

 

The presence of Levi’s thoughts bleed through her own. She heard him sigh, though it was laced with worry.

 

_ Yeah. It fucking sucks doesn’t it? _

 

_ Yep.  _

 

_ Are you three okay?  _

 

_ Yes, but Eren can’t do it. We’re about to put Plan C into action.  _

 

_ I’ll tell Hanji, be careful, Mikasa. _

 

_ You too.  _

 

Cracking her neck, Mikasa turned to Armin. “I’ll go that you, you go the other. Annie will attack one of us, and Eren,” she nodded at him, “you take whichever path she doesn’t go for and escape.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Right!” Armin pulled up his hood, drawing his swords. “Good luck guys!”

 

They both took off running, faces grime but focused. Eren could barely stand, shocked by his friend’s decision. 

 

“Wait!” He shouted at them. “One of you could die!”

 

“That’s our gamble then!” Armin shouted without looking back. 

 

“But...How? How can you guys still fight with no chance of winning?”

 

This made Mikasa stop. She turned back to look at her brother, eyes cold as winter. 

 

“Because we have no choice, Eren.”

 

His eyes widened and she wished she couldn’t see his tears. 

 

“Mikasa, I can’t lose you guys. You’re my family.”

 

“It’s a cruel world.” She pulled up her hood, giving him the smallest smile. “But it’s also beautiful. We have to fight to win.”

 

Mikasa ran towards the opening, trying her hardest to block out the sound of Eren shouting at her to stop. 

 

~~~

 

Levi had to cough into his sleeve to hide the sudden burst of energy that shocked his veins. Erwin, who was sitting across from him, gave the captain a weird look.

 

He raised a thick eyebrow. “Is everything-”

 

“It failed.” Levi said, opening the carriage door. “Plan A has failed.”

 

A moment later the sky erupted into green lightning. A loud explosion shook the entire district, bringing the carriage to a halt. Levi jumped out, a little too fast for his leg, looking up at the smoking sky. 

 

_ Was she okay? Where is she? Is she hurt? _

 

He could still feel her through the connection but he worried anyways. Military police surrounded them, questioning Erwin. Levi didn’t pay attention. The Commander knew how to handle idiots like them. 

 

He stared off in the direction of the smoke, knowing somewhere at its base Mikasa was there. The man waited, hoping for another explosion and the sound of Eren’s titan. But no roar came. 

 

_ Fuck.  _

 

The thought wasn’t his own, but he agreed with it. Commander Nile Dawk pointed his gun at them and Levi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

 

“Is your brain as empty as your threats?” He said dryly. “Are you really going to arrest all the Survey Corps, when there’s a titan running around your city?”

 

The other man’s face twitch. But he didn’t care to continue, not when Mikasa’s voice was clear in his mind. They spoke while the Commander played his mind games with the police. Levi was relieved that she was alright, but now that Plan C was in affect, he grabbed his gear. 

 

“Levi, I don’t want you fighting injured.” Erwin gave him a hard look and he knew the blonde hadn’t forgotten about the last expedition. “That’s an order.”

 

“Plan C is in action, the others have failed.” Levi ignored the surprise on his superior’s face, clasping his ODM belt around his waist. “Don’t ask how I know. I just do. I’m going to inform squad Hanji to get ready.”

 

Erwin nodded slowly, but reluctantly. “I trust you, but I’ll expect some answers, Levi.”

 

“And you’ll get them. Just make sure those police dogs don’t get in our way.”

 

Levi knew what he just did. He knew that after all this, he’d have to tell Erwin about Mikasa and how exactly they survived outside the walls.  _ And that’s a talk I really, really don’t want to have.  _

 

~~~

 

Mikasa crashed down onto the ground. She rolled, tried to get her footing, but fell again. She felt a rib crack and grimaced. Annie was getting away. Hanji’s traps hadn’t held the titan, and as much as all the soldiers tried, they weren’t a match for her. 

 

Not even Mikasa. 

 

At least not without Levi. 

 

She pushed up herself, gasping through the pain in her chest. But she bared her teeth, making her body stand.  _ Where is Eren?  _ Armin had been with him last, but she saw him flying off with Hanji not moments ago. Everything was falling apart. 

 

“Mikasa!”

 

She turned just in time to see him. He swung down, picking her up and setting them down on the nearest roof. Levi gripped her shoulders, checking her over. 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

She nodded, looking back over her shoulder. “Yeah, Annie got away and-”

 

Mikasa turned back to the captain, furious. “Why are you geared up?!”

 

“Everything’s gone to shit, that’s why.” He let go of her, crossing his arms. “Did you break a rib?”

 

“I’ll break your face if you don’t take off your gear.”

 

“Mikasa, we don’t have time for this-”

 

The sky burst into green, the ground shook, and a roar echoed through the rooftops. Both Ackermans turned, wide eyed and in Mikasa’s case, smiling. It was Eren. They watched as the titan ran straight for Annie, steam billowing off him as he punched her in the face. 

 

“He did it!” She grabbed Levi’s hand, pulling him towards the edge of the roof. “C’mon, he might need our help!”

 

“Knowing that brat, he probably will.” He squeezed her hand before letting go, both jumping into the air in union. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


The battle ended and left mixed feelings amongst the Survey Corps. They had captured Annie, but had no hope of interrogating her. And while the Military Police was furious about the state of Stohess, it gave them a much needed taste of reality. Mikasa spent as much time as she could by Eren’s side, but the debriefing took almost four hours. 

 

Levi on the other hand had spent the entire day with Erwin, listening to the meetings and answering the politician's questions. It lasted all day, but not long enough, because there was one question he’d been avoiding all day. Everytime Erwin looked at him, Levi saw that question in his stupid blue eyes.  _ How did you know? _

 

He stayed in contact with Mikasa the whole time, making sure she had a medic check out her ribs and that the police weren’t too harsh in their interrogations. She told him to piss off a few times, saying she couldn’t have two conversations at once. It made him smile at awkward times during the meetings. 

 

But when the day was finally over, the hardest conversation still awaited them. Commander Erwin found an empty conference room for them, allowing Hanji and Armin to be present. But when Levi requested for Mikasa to be there, it surprised him.

 

“For what reason, Levi?”

 

He crossed his arms, slouching in his chair. “You said you wanted answers, didn’t you? She’s already on her way.”

 

Now Hanji and Armin looked just as confused. 

 

“But how did-”

 

Mikasa walked in, interrupting the blonde. She looked at each of their faces slowly, then turned to Levi. By the look in her eyes, the woman knew exactly what this meeting was for. Signing, she took a seat next to the captain. 

 

“So this is what you’ve been anxious about all day. You couldn’t just told me.”

 

Levi shrugged. “I thought you knew to be honest, but here we are.” 

 

“That’s why you kept asking where Armin was?”

 

Hanji’s was jaw almost on the table. “Huh? You guys haven’t seen each other all day! Don’t tell me you Ackerman’s are telepathic?”

 

Both of humanity’s strongest soldiers signed. 

 

The brunette’s eyes looked huge from behind her glasses as they widened. “Wait, what!?”

 

“Let’s just start at the beginning then.”

 

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “That’s not the beginning, it started in-”

 

“Can you just let me talk, woman?”

 

"Just tell it right and I won't have to,  _Sir._ "

 

Erwin, Hanji, and Armin all looked dumbfounded. The pair had never talked like this in front of others before, but it wasn't going to be the first time they were surprised that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys find the mental conversations hard to read? I try to make it clear who's talking, but if it's not working let me know! Also, some PG +13 stuff is ahead in the next chapter. ;)


	15. When Everything's Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa and Armin don't get enough one on one time.

“So...Let me get this straight.” Erwin rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyes screwed shut like he had a headache. “You two can read each other’s thoughts.”

 

“Yeah.” Levi and Mikasa said in unison. 

 

“And this happened during the fight with the Female Titan in the Giant Forest?”

 

“Yep.” They spoke again at the same time and glared at each other. 

 

“Can you please stop?” Mikasa asked him, clearly annoyed. 

 

“It’s not my fault our stupid brains are connected.” 

 

This is AMAZING!” Hanji shouted, making Armin flinch. “So what is it like? Can you hear each other thoughts or are they like your own? Can you see through each other’s eyes? Do you-”

 

“Please stop.” Levi shook his head. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you, shithead.”

 

“Oh c’mon! This is the most exciting thing to happen since Eren!”

 

“Please don’t compare me to that brat.”

 

Mikasa pushed an elbow into Levi’s ribs. “That’s my  _ brother. _ ”

 

“And he’s a brat.”

 

“Okay, enough.” 

 

Everyone at the table looked at Erwin. Levi could tell he  _ definitely  _ had a headache. The Commander though, to everyone’s surprise, smiled. 

 

“I have to say, this is the first time where I’m not sure what to do. Hanji, Armin, any ideas?”

 

Hanji opened her mouth, but to everyone else’s relief, Armin spoke first. 

 

“This has an amazing tactical advantage.” He looked up at the pair. “Does distance affect your communication?”

 

“Not that we can tell.” Mikasa answered. 

 

“We should test that. Also the accuracy of this connection.”

 

“Trust me, it’s accurate.” Levi said, pretending not to notice Mikasa’s death glare. “And while we agree that it has a tactical use, we have no idea what triggered it or why.”

 

_ Can you let me talk for myself before you put a  _ we _ in your sentences?  _

 

Levi looked at her, arms crossed like always.  _ What? You were thinking it, weren’t you? _

 

“But I didn’t say it!” 

 

Armin cleared his throat. “It’s really confusing when you two do that.”

 

“Sorry.” Mikasa mumbled. 

 

“Um, I’m sorry if this is too personal-”

 

_ Trust me, nothing is too personal anymore. _ Levi winced when Mikasa kicked him under the table. 

 

“But, did you guys have a  _ moment? _ ”

 

He glared at the blonde. “How do you about that, Arlert?”

 

“Wait, what  _ moment _ are you guys talking about?” Erwin looked between the two, eyebrows drawn. “Please don’t tell me-”

 

“No!” Mikasa made a face. “No, not like that. It’s something that happened when I was little, when I met Eren.”

 

_ You don’t have to look so disgusted, you know.  _

 

_ Cut the crap, Levi. On paper this could look like a relationship beyond captain and subbordant.  _

 

_ It’s that what it is? _

 

She gave him a venomous side look and he shut up. Clearly this was a talk for later. 

 

~~~

 

It was midnight by the time they all left. Mikasa and Levi explained what the  _ moment  _ was that they experienced in their past, and with each other. Hanji made some hypothesis about it being a supernatural bond that Ackerman’s possed, answering why they both were such skilled fighters. Armin to everyone’s surprise, agreed. Erwin told everyone that they’d continue this discussion tomorrow, and in private. It went unsaid that this had to be kept a secret. 

 

Mikasa was just worried what this meant for Eren. Know that Armin knew, keeping the information from one of their trio felt wrong. But she understood why. Eren, for all his strengths, wasn’t the best at keeping secrets. 

 

Armin pulled her aside afterwards, and they walked in the courtyard alone. It was cold, the first hints of autumn sending a chill in the air. There was a fountain surrounded by trees, and they sat on the edge, listening to the bubbling water. 

 

“Mikasa, may I ask you a question?”

 

She smiled at her friend. “Of course, what’s on your mind?” 

 

He looked down at his fidgeting hands. “...Are you and Levi friends now?”

 

“I suppose so, yes. Those two days beyond the walls, we learned a lot about each other.” She grinned a little. “It’s hard not to be friends when you share the same headspace, literally.” 

 

“Is it more than that?” 

 

That question startled Mikasa. She opened her mouth to say no, it was just a strange situation they were in.  _ But that wouldn’t be the truth, would it?  _ Yes, she enjoyed Levi’s company and yes, she did find him attractive. However it wouldn’t happened. It couldn’t. 

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

 

“Hey!” Mikasa didn’t like the smile on Armin’s face. “I didn’t say-”

 

“Anything, you didn’t say yes or no, which means it’s complicated.”

 

She really hated his big brain sometimes.

 

“Armin...Nothing is going to happen.”

 

He looked at her with a hard gaze, something she once was proud of him for. But right now, she didn’t like being the subject of his powerful mind. 

 

“You know it can’t, right? There are laws in place.”

 

“Yes I know.” She signed, scoping up handfuls of water and watching it stream between her fingers. “Trust me, I looked into it. Besides, I doubt he has any feelings like that for me.”

 

_ At least I think.  _

 

She remembered the night before, and wondered. 

 

Armin signed too, looking up at the crescent moon. “I want you to be happy Mikasa. I really do. I just don’t want you to get hurt. This is such a strange situation you’re both in and while I admire Captain Levi, I guess...I don’t know. Just be careful, okay?”

 

She smiled, pulling her dear friend in for a hug. “Thank you Armin. I appreciate it.”

 

When they pulled away, Mikasa flinched, then laughed. 

 

“What is it?” Armin asked. 

 

“Sorry,” Mikasa hide her giggles behind her hand, “Hanji won’t leave Levi alone.”

 

~~~

 

Levi slammed the door on Hanji, locking it for good measure. That damn woman wouldn’t leave him alone. When she finally gave up and left, he sat down on the bed, groaning. 

 

His leg was  _ killing _ him. The fight from earlier put a strain on it, and standing all day talking to the idiots of the Military Police didn’t help. He stretched it out, taking off his coat with a sign. Things were so much more complicated now. 

 

Now that the Commander knew, any delusion he had about Mikasa were gone. But all day, he couldn’t stop thinking about the night before.  _ Why does she care so much?  _ It hurt to admit, but he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had comforted him, much less while he was  _ crying.  _ Showing so much weakness in front of someone made his stomach turn, but not when it came to her. He  _ sought out _ her comfort. Not just because deep down he knew she would give it, but because he  _ wanted _ it. 

 

_ Just stop it.  _ He buried his head in his hands, an unfamiliar pain in his chest. The feeling of wanting, no, needing something so badly like air but never being able to have it.  _ She’s just being nice, that’s all...right? No, it doesn’t matter, now that Erwin knows it can’t happen.  _

 

_ Hey, are you busy? _

 

He straightened, quickly clearing his mind. 

 

_ Actually now that Shitty Glasses isn’t bothering me, my schedule is wide open.  _

 

_ Perfect. I’ll be there in fifteen. And please unlock your door.  _

 

_ I will when you get here, I don’t want anyone else bothering me. _

 

He heard her laugh. He really loved the sound. 

 

_ Fair enough, captain.  _

 

She left his mind and he was alone again. He took off his clothes, cleaning himself with the water basin and changing into more comfortable attire. And he fixed his hair. Some things couldn’t be helped. While in the process of rewrapping his knee, he sensed her nearby and unlocked the door. But when it didn’t open right away, he swung it in for her. 

 

He really couldn’t believe his eyes. 

 

“You didn’t eat today, and neither did I.” Mikasa carried in a tray of food, stew and bread, and set it on the table at the end of the room. “And I figured you’d want your fix of tea leaves.”

 

“Oh my god.” He made his way over to the table, sitting opposite of her. Whether his mouth was watering for the food or the tea, he wasn’t sure. “You’re fucking amazing.”

 

She gave him the sweetest smile, one he didn’t feel he deserved. “I try. Now eat while it’s still hot.”

 

“Yes ma’am.” 

 

They ate in silence, but a comfortable one this time. He was surprised at first when she poured their tea, adding one sugar cube to his cup without needing to ask. But that was normal for them. And Levi liked it. 

 

After cleaning their plates, Mikasa noticed his half wrapped leg.

 

“Here, let me.” 

 

She knelt down, tying it gently but secretly around his skin. In candlelight, she looked truly breathtaking. Her hair was getting a little longer, framing her face neatly. He liked how bright her eyes looked when they weren’t clouded with sadness. He noticed he saw that look less and less when they were together. 

 

“You know, I haven’t see you with that scarf in a while.” He said quietly. “Why don’t you wear it anymore?”

 

Her fingers slowed and she signed. “You got blood on it, remember?”

 

“Oh...I’m sorry I-”

 

“It’s okay,” she tied the knot on his wrap and sat back in the chair. “It was old. As much as I loved that thing, it was time to let it go.”

 

“I see...Still, I’m sorry. It was really kind of you to use it for me out there.” He wanted to say more, but he didn’t know how. Even though they shared their emotions, he didn’t know how to express this one to her. 

 

But she spoke before he could try too. 

 

“...I’ve been thinking about the time we spent outside of the walls.”

 

He looked up, holding his cup between both hands. The warmth of the liquid spreading through his fingers pleasantly. “So I have.”

 

“And I suppose I owe you an apology.”

 

He sat back in his chair, slingling one arm around the back. “What on earth for?”   
  


“I, I know I’ve already said this, but I’m truly sorry about your leg-”

 

“Hey, we’ve been over this. It wasn’t wrong to try and take the opportunity you saw.” He sighed. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, it’s all in the past.”

 

Mikasa put her tea down, clasping her hands together. “That’s not what I mean, Sir.”

 

“Oh, then what is it?” He put his own cup down. “And I’ve told you, Mikasa. You don’t need to use titles when it’s just us.” 

 

She sighed, closing her eyes as she spoke. “Sorry, and I know. But I still feel guilty that I didn’t keep my emotions in check. Several times, during our return, I let them cloud my judgement...and, I’m sorry. We wouldn’t have been left behind if I had been more careful in the first place-”

 

“Hey, enough.” He grabbed her hands, holding them tightly but gently. “Enough, you can’t blame yourself. You did well, Mikasa. You saved the lives of our squadron by helping me fight. You saved  _ my  _ life, more than once.”

 

She bit her lip. He felt a flood of emotions filling her chest. “But if I-”

 

“No.” He pulled her forward, looking her in the eyes fiercely. “Didn’t you hear me? You saved my life. In the end, you put my life before yours countless times. You ignored me when I told you to leave me behind. You carried me to the wall, you managed to get us to the top. I would have died out there if it hadn’t been for you. Do you understand?”

 

Mikasa blinked away the tears threatening her eyes, looking down. “...Yes, I understand.”

 

Levi sighed, a heavy breathe as he also looked away. He was conflicted.  _ Am I...blushing? _

 

“Actually, why I asked you here was to thank you.”

 

“Huh?” She looked up at him, and yes, he  _ was  _ blushing. 

 

“I...I realized I never thanked you properly. For everything you did.” He chewed at his bottom lip. “You didn’t just save me, you  _ cared _ for me. Found us food, water, took care of my injury. And I-” He swallowed, once again remembering the other night. “I can’t ever thank you enough for that.”

 

A new feeling was swelling in Levi’s heart. He looked down at their hands, wondering when they hand intertwined their fingers together. And he found himself suddenly grateful for their connection, because they didn’t have to ask. He didn’t have to look at her to know how she felt. How  _ they _ felt. 

 

Mikasa leaned forward, their noses almost touching as Levi finally turned his gaze back to hers. She looked unsure, an expression he’d never seen on her face before. But when she looked into his gray eyes, when she looked deep into their joined feelings, they both knew what they wanted. 

 

She kissed him, and he kissed her back. 

 

Levi grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. She was warm, her lips softer than he expected. She wrapped her arms around his middle, his hands moved up into her hair. He heard Mikasa moan, setting a fire in his blood. She stood up, cupping his face and pushing him back into his chair. They gently pulled apart, breathless, waiting for the slightest sign from the other to stop. 

 

Levi knew she was playing with fire. He was her senior officer, for god’s sake, the trouble they could get into was astronomical. Levi could ruin his career, Mikasa could be kicked out of the military…

 

And by god, it only made him want her  _ more. _

 

He crashed his lips against hers, pent up passion exploding between them. Levi grabbed her by the hips, moved her against the table and stood up. 

 

“You know,” He said between kisses, “If we do this, there’s no going back.”

 

She grinned, already working at unbuckling his belt. “Do you really want to stop?”

 

Mikasa watched as a smile overtook his face. A sadistic, incredibly attractive one that made her blood run hot. He lifted her up, setting her roughly on the desk and pushing her legs apart. Levi leaned in, biting her earlobe and making her shiver as he whispered, “Hell no.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your water bottles, cus the next chapter is gonna make ya'll THIRSTY.


	16. They Pick Up Their Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated R. Not your style, then skip it. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for over a thousand hits! I really appreciate all the encouragement and love in the comments, it makes my day and only makes me want to write the next chapter faster!
> 
> Also I haven't written smut in a while, so I had to tap into my own experiences. Hope you all like it, and happy late Valentine's Day! <3

“Are you sure?”

 

Mikasa laid her head back into the pillows, staring up at Levi. That question had many meanings and she knew each one of them.  _ Are you sure about breaking the law? Are you okay with leaving this room with an even bigger secret? Are you sure your broken rib is up for this?  _ But she knew which one was the most important, the one he couldn’t bring himself to say aloud. 

 

_ Are you sure you want me? _

 

“Yes.” Her fingers traced his jaw line, up to his cheek and brows. “I  _ want  _ you.”

 

She pulled his head down, lips just a breath away. “And no, this is a choice I know I won’t regret.”

 

That was all he needed to hear. 

 

Their lips crashed together, mouths fighting for control. She sneaked her tongue out, swiping it down on his lower lip before grazing her teeth across it. It rewarded her with the most tantalizing moan from him. His hips ground down into hers, an incredible heat building in between them. Their kisses became more fierce, long with each breaking in a gasp. Levi’s tongue slide against hers, cutting off her air and  _ god it was hot.  _

 

Mikasa’s fingers dug into his hip bones, exploring lower between their bodies. Tentatively, she felt the length of his harding cock. Her eyes widened. “Well  _ damn _ .” 

 

He smirked at her. “What? Not all of me is short.”

 

She bite her lip, pushing the man up. “I think I need to see for myself.”

 

They basically ripped each other’s clothes off, a few buttons flying across the room. The candles burned low, but Mikasa could still see everything. Each muscle, toned from training. Every scar from countless battles. And his-

 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He smiled when she blushed. “You’re  _ stunning,  _ Mikasa.”

 

She blushed, looking away. “Shut up, -hey!”

 

He pushed her back into the mattress on her back, placing kisses along her jaw. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted this?”

 

_ You know I do,  _ but she still shivered at his breath on her neck.

 

“I’m not blind, and you are” he kissed the rapid pulse on her throat, “absolutely gorgeous.”

 

She watched him kiss his way down her body, gently touching every curve and edge. When he settled between her legs, she suddenly felt anxiety freeze over the heat in her blood. She clamped her thighs together, denying his access as she hide her face in her hands. 

 

“What’s wrong?” The tenderness in the timber of his voice calms her, but not enough. 

 

“I...Um.” 

 

Mikasa didn’t know how to say it. During her three years training with the Cadet Corps, there had been plenty of opportunities. Plenty of young men full of hormos ready to do her every whim. But she never acted, never felt the need to pull on their strings. It had never seemed important, until now. The fact that she was still a virgin made her embarrassed. The pressure to perform had always been there, in training, in battle, and now here in bed. Only she had no experience, no confidence in herself to success. 

 

_ And now he knows too.  _

 

The bed shifted as he moved. When she opened her eyes, he was looking down at her. He leaned in and kissed her, slowly. She melted under his affections, tasting the words he wanted to say. 

 

_ Just trust me.  _

 

This time, when he crawled back down her body, she opened her legs willingly. Levi locked eyes with her and she shivered. His gaze darked as the kisses went lower, the anticipation building and building. But it didn’t prepare her for when his lips enveloped her.

 

Gasping, her back arched and toes curled. His tongue was hot against her flesh, licking and tasting in all the right places. When it pushed inside her, she bite her arm and moaned. 

 

_ No.  _

 

She looked down at him, the sight of his head between her legs incredibly arousing. 

 

_ I want to hear you. _

 

She trembled, moving her hands down to bury her fingers in his hair as he ate her out. He grabbed her legs so tightly she couldn’t hope to move them, trapping her to the mattress. His lips encircled her clit, and she cried out when he  _ sucked.  _

 

“Fuck!” She pulled at his dark locks, earning a hum of approval from him. The vibrations sent waves of pleasure through her. 

 

His fingers began their assault. The first one entered her tentatively, sliding into the wetness of her pussy easily. Mikasa could tell how much that turned him on. Another joined, curling up until she saw stars. 

 

Levi took his mouth away and she whined in protest. He flashed her the most devious grin before he slipped in a third finger and picked up the pace. Each time he hit that spot, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. 

 

_ Please please please.  _

 

He definitely heard her. 

 

He pressed his thumb down on her clit and  _ rubbed.  _ White hot pleasure rolled through her body, crashing down on her nerves as she screamed his name. He bite down on her inner thigh, continuing the onslaught even after she’d had enough. But when she was about to beg him to stop, another orgasm built up inside her, so quickly she didn’t have time to breath. 

 

She heard the wet sounds, felt his fingers inside her work that spot with incredible precision. Her hands gripped the sheets as she looked down, disbelief written on her face. 

 

He had made her  _ squirt.  _

 

This time when the orgasm gave way to tortuous pleasure, she did beg him to stop. His fingers slid out, sopping wet, as he pressed a kiss to her abused clit. Her heart pounded against her chest, her broken rib throbbing but she  _ like it.  _ The pain and the pleasure, the breaking of boundaries and utterly  _ wrong _ thing they were doing. It only made her want more. 

 

Levi stood, roughly pulling her around to the edge of the bed. His cock was truly impressive and briefly wondered  _ how it was going to fit.  _ He kissed her deeply, as if making sure she could taste herself on his tongue. The tip of his length pressed against her, waiting for her permission. 

 

Mikasa wrapped her legs around his hips, tugging him closer. “Are you going to fuck me or what?”

 

“Oh,” his cock slid inside her and she moaned, “only if you ask nicely.”

 

“Please.”

 

“Anything for you, darling.” 

 

He started out slow, pressing his forehead against hers and savoring the feeling of her tightness against his cock. She sighed, nails digging into his shoulders. The way it stretched her and filled her was perfect, and Mikasa became impatient. She dug her heels into his lower back, pushing him on. 

 

He was more than happy to oblige.  

 

His hips slammed down, all the strength and power she knew he possessed bearing down on her. The bed rocked, the headboard banged against the wall. If she thought before was paradise, then this was heaven. 

 

Her mind went blank, nothing else in the world existed. Just the overwhelming pleasure, and Levi. His hands pinning her arms back to the bed, their fingers intertwined. His eyes that reflected so much passion and love in their gray irises. The touch of his lips on her neck and the teeth that bit at her neck, all of it was heaven. Her third orgasm wrecked her body, fatigue setting in and all she could do was lie there and  _ take it.  _

 

She felt his own pleasure growing and suddenly she wanted something. She wanted to make him feel just as good. So she sat up, yanked him down, using her own strength against him as she forced him to sit. 

 

“What are-”

 

She opened her mouth and swallowed him whole. 

 

“Holy  _ fuck.”  _

 

He was already so close, the warmth of her mouth and her  _ tongue  _ set him right over the edge. Mikasa relaxed her throat and took it as he fucked her mouth through his orgasm. The pure power of bringing him such pleasure was as intoxicating as the look on his face as he came. She swallowed every drop he gave her, feeling him shiver and tremble as he threw his head back and  _ moaned.  _

 

_ He’s louder than me.  _

 

“Shut up,” the snip lost its bite when he gasped, her tongue circling his over sensitive head. She loosened her lips and slid them off him, letting a wet pop echo in the now quiet room. 

 

They laid in the bed for a while, sweaty and satisfied. Mikasa rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slowly returned to normal. Levi ran his fingers up and down her spine, the soft caress lulling her into deep exhaustion. Just before they fell asleep, Levi asked her a question. 

 

_...Do you regret it? _

 

“No.” Mikasa leaned up, looking him in the eyes. “Do you?”  

 

He kissed her and she liked how familiar the touch felt. 

 

“Not at all.” He smiled, “but I think I found your nickname.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “If it’s brat I’ll-”

 

“Darling. I think it fits.”

 

“That’s really cheesy.”

 

“You like it.”

 

She laughed, resting her head back on his chest. “Yeah...I do.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fictional world, there are no condoms. BUT USE CONDOMS KIDS.
> 
> Can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts on this chapter! Next one will be out soon!


	17. And Avenge Defeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Thank you everyone who waited and posted such sweet comments! It really encouraged me to write this chapter, you guys have no idea how much you fuel this story! At first I was writing it for myself, but now I'm writing it for all of you! It really brings joy to my heart that I can share my ideas and writing with all of you and that you all enjoy it! So thank you, yes YOU, the person reading this fic, for being here. <3 
> 
> Alright, on the story! Get ready for some plot development, fluff, and of course some angst. :)

The Survey Corps stayed in Stohess for another five days. Dhalis Zachary decided to help oversee the task of finding the identities of the remaining titan shifters, which meant daily meetings. The Commander of the Three Regiments gave permission, and a list of tasks, to Hanji to complete experiments with Eren and his Titan Shifting abilities. Which meant even more fucking meetings. All of them Levi had to attend with the other high ranking officers, and he'd rather be doing  _ literally  _ anything else. 

 

“Can you stop looking like you don’t want to be here?” Mike muttered. 

 

Levi glared up at the giant. He always hated their high difference since the day they met. Not that their first meeting was a picnic. “Well I  _ don’t _ want to be here.” He snarled. “And I really don’t want to hear her talk anymore.”

 

He jabbed a thumb at the end of the table and they both looked at Hanji. She was talking the ears off Zachary, and Levi couldn’t tell if he was genuinely interested or just being polite. These meetings seemed pointless to him. The orders were given, all that was left was to take action on them. But no, they all had to sit here in this stuffy room, talking about every little details about every little factor and  _ god I’m so bored.  _

 

He knew he shouldn’t, not when Erwin was two chairs away, but he let his mind wander to her. They rarely saw each other during the day, only at night. They called it tea time. Levi would make a pot and Mikasa would steal some kind of snack off of Sasha. It was nice and he looked forward to them all day. Especially what they did afterwards. 

 

He felt like a kid again. The giddiness, the excitement of a secret, it lifted the usual weight of his life away whenever he saw her in passing. The little smiles she flashed only for him to see, the quick glances across crowds of the dinner hall. Even when they were apart, his thoughts drifted to her constantly. How pretty she looked in when she laughed, the way her hips swayed when she walked…

 

_ Easy there lover boy.  _

 

Levi had to strain to hide his smile. 

_ Sorry darling. _

 

_ No pet names, you’re in a meeting idiot. _

 

_ You like it. _

 

He could feel her huff out of sign. 

 

_ Shut up. _

 

_ How? I’m not talking aloud.  _

 

_ Still, shut up.  _

 

“So,” Zachary cleared his throat,interrupting whatever Hanji was ranting about, “Moving on to other items on our agenda, who will be assigned to Captain Levi’s new squad?”

 

Erwin straightened as he spoke. “It’s been decided that the new recruits would be the best fit for this task. This would include Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman, Christa Lenz, Ymir Fritz, Jean Kirschtein, Sasha Braus, Conny Springer, and Eren Yeager.”

 

“Wait, what?” Levi gave the blonde the biggest stink eye. “This was not discussed with me at all.” 

 

“We all agreed yesterday that to train a new group of fighters how to combate titan shifters, it’d be better if they were younger.” He gave Levi a much more subtle stink eye. “Don’t you recall, Captain?”

 

“Yes, I do.” He didn’t, but that was aside from the point. “But I don’t remember agreeing to babysit a bunch of brats.”

 

“C’mon, they’re not that young!” Hanji smiled across the table at him. “But they might be in comparison to an old man such as yourself.”

 

“Don’t you start, four eyes-” 

 

“But then again, they are all taller than you-”

 

“Hanji I swear to god I’ll break those shitty glasses and stuff them up your-”

 

“Soldiers, please.” Zachary straighten his tie, eyeing the two. “Let’s stay on topic. Now I understand that these new recruits all show promise in the Corps, especially given that they’ve seen more than once titan shifter. Before we talk of how they should be trained, I want Section Comendador Hanji and Captain Levi to work together on this mission. I think having a real titan shifter to face against will prove valuable, and it will give Yeager more chances to prove his loyalty to humanity.” The old man smiled, making his cold eyes twinkle. “Besides, if we can have an elite team of titan killers learn to work alongside a titan shifter, it’ll make a fantastic weapon.”

 

“Yeah!” Hanji fist pumped the air. “This will be awesome, right Levi?”

 

Levi groaned. Just what he needed. To spend more quality time with the Survey Corps mad scientist and look after almost a dozen brats. He had a feeling it would be a disaster. 

 

~~~   
  


 

“It’s not going to be a disaster.” Mikasa leaned back in her chair, bringing her tea cup up to her lips. “I think you’re just being too negative.”

 

Levi threw his hands up in the air. “But I have to manage Kirschtein and Springer!”

 

“And Sasha.” She cringed, thinking of her roommate. “Okay, well at least there’s Reiner and Bert, they’re pretty level headed.”

 

“It’s a hot pot of hormones  _ and  _ your brother. No offence,”

 

“No, I get it.” Mikasa signed. “...But at least I’ll be there.” 

 

She watched the smile spread across his face, making her chest feel light and airy. 

 

“Yeah, thank goodness for that.” He leaned across the little table and kissed her, “Because if I find  _ anyone  _ banging, they’ll be cleaning for the rest of their lives.”

 

“Oh,” Mikasa looked away, pouting slightly as she stood. “I guess I should get started then-”

 

Levi pulled her into his arms, tipping her back. “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere.”

 

She smiled, “Are you sure the floors don’t need cleaning?”

 

“Trust me,” He kissed up her neck as her fingers snuck down to his belt, “as much as I would like to see you on all fours, I’d rather you’d do it in my bed.”

 

“Who knew a clean freak could be so dirty.” 

 

“You like it.” 

 

“Yep, now shut up and take off your clothes.”

 

~~~

 

They laid in bed in the afterglow, watching the wax in the candles wan. Mikasa traced the scars on Levi’s chest, the old and the new ones, knowing that each held a story. She wondered which were from the battlefield and which were from the Underground. He didn’t talk much about his early life and she knew why. Some stories you didn’t tell, you just lived them and tried your damn hardest to forget them for the rest of your life. That was something they shared, the pain of living. 

 

But there was one story that she was dying to know. One that each of her friends whispered about at dinner, making wild speculations that would often start food fights. The story of how Levi joined the military. 

She looked up at him, but he was already looking at her. 

 

“Are you really that curious?” He asked. 

 

She shrugged. “Pretty much everyone has a reason for joining the Survey Corps. A noble sense of dedication to humanity, a hatred for titans, or in one case a strange obsession with them-”

 

“Please don’t mention that wacko when we’re naked.”

 

“Sorry.” She laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. “But you don’t really fit into any of those categories.”

 

“Well, you’re right. It wasn’t exactly a normal initiation into the military...I don’t really like to talk about it.” 

 

“You don’t have too if you don’t want too.” Mikasa said. “It’s not that important-”

 

“Actually, it kind is.”

 

He rolled towards her, both curled up with noses almost touching. But he wouldn’t met her eyes. Mikasa frowned, brushing his hair out of his face as an excuse to touch his face. In the dimming light, his eyes were dark, but she knew it wasn’t just from the lightning. His past was lingering in his shadow, something he couldn’t ever escape from. 

“You see...I told you about my mother briefly, but not my uncle.” He finally met her gaze. “Have you ever heard of Kenny the Ripper?”

 

They talked long into the night, letting the candles die without bothering to light new ones. Levi told her about his childhood, how he was the son of a prostitute and watched his mother die. How he was only four when she passed and he spent several days with her after she went cold. The smell of rot and fifth broken by a visit from his uncle. 

 

Tears were forming in his eyes at this point, his voice was wavering, and Mikasa pulled him into a hug. He didn’t cry, she could tell he wouldn’t let himself. But she held him all the same until his tears stopped and his breathing returned to normal. 

 

“Levi, it’s okay,” she kissed the bridge of his nose. “You don’t have to tell me everything tonight.”

 

“No, I do.” He sat up, resting his head against the headboard and sighing. “Just grab the gin from my desk.” 

 

They both drank, and Levi continued his story. Mikasa fell silent as he told her about the man who taught Levi how to hold a knife before teaching him letters. How to shoot a gun before how to cook. It all sounded awful, being brought up as a thug by a murderer. But he was family, and she could feel his bitter resentment for the man when he told Mikasa that Kenny abandoned him. That during a fight, when Levi’s first moment rippled through his blood, he was expecting his uncle and mentor to be proud of him. But instead, he only saw horror and disgust in the man’s face, right before he turned heel and disappeared from Levi’s life. 

 

“What an ass.” Mikasa poured them another round. “I’m so sorry, Levi.”

 

He shrugged. “Honestly, it was for the best. With Kenny gone, I had a chance to make a name for myself, by myself. That’s when I met Isabel and Farlan.” 

 

He talked about his two friends that remind Mikasa of her boys. Farlan, level headed and always thinking of the next step, and Isabel, a bright eyed, spunky kid that was like a little sister. Levi smiled when he talked of them, but his eyes were sad. In her heart, Mikasa knew why she’d never met them. 

 

“And that’s why Erwin hunted me down in the Underground.” He downed the rest of his gin, grimacing at the burn. 

 

“Wait, what?” 

 

He chuckled. “Just wait, it gets better.”

 

Mikasa sat dumbfounded as she learned the history between the two men. She couldn’t imagine that anyone could bet Levi in a fight, but apparently the Commander could. It didn’t seem to bother Levi at all, the blackmailing and the assassination attempts. If anything, he seemed to respect Erwin more for it. 

 

“That’s kinda weird.” 

 

“No it’s not.” 

 

Mikasa spilt the last of the booze between their two tea cups. “It’s a little weird.” 

 

“Hey, how did you meet your brother again?” He gave her a look. “It involved a triple homicide it I remember correctly. And you two are thick and thieves.”

 

“Okay, fair point.” She smiled a little, swirling the glossy liquid around in her cup. “I have to admit, this story is pretty mild compared to what the others think.”

 

“Others?” Levi raised his eyebrows. “What do they say?”

 

“Let me think...Conny says you were a circus performer that felt the need to defend humanity with your acrobatic skills,”

 

Levi choked on his drink. 

 

“Reiner thinks you were the son of a wealthy nobleman and you joined the military to make him proud.”

 

“Ew.”

 

“Oh he has a whole backstory about it, do you wanna hear it?”

 

“Fuck no.”

 

Mikasa giggled, “And Sasha thinks you were born to fight titans, ascending from the heavens to-”

 

“Okay, that’s enough.” He smiled at her. “Thanks for listening.”

 

“Of course.” She smiled back, but it fell slowly before she spoke again. “...That nightmare you had, before we fought Annie. Was it about them? Isabel and Farlan?”

 

He wouldn’t look at her and she took that as a yes.

“Did they die outside the walls?”

 

He nodded. “Yes, and it was my fault.”

 

Mikasa gulped down the rest of her drink, scooting closer to him. “I can promise you it wasn’t.”

 

“Of course it was. I left them Mikasa, it was raining and I thought I could get the papers off Erwin and they’d be fine. I trusted them, but I made the wrong choice. They died out there alone and without me, and I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.”

 

“No, Levi listen to me,” she grabbed hold on his hands, “this world is terrible. It had teeth and it’s bloodthirsty and it takes and takes. Yes, Isabel and Farlan died, but their memory didn’t. It still lives with you, and it’s hard and it hurts but we have to live with their hearts on our sleeves. You owe that to them, not because their deaths were your fault, but because they were your friends. Your family.”

 

Levi breathed deeply, trying to push past the emotions building up in his chest. He held her hands tightly, like she might slip away. She watched his mouth try to form words without trembling. When he did speak, it broke her heart. 

 

“They were my family, and I lost them. Then I met Oluo, Eld, Gunther, and Petra. And I lost them. Who’s to say I wouldn’t lose you too?” He took another deep breath, this time the sadness in his throat making his way to his face. “And I don’t want this new squad Mikasa. All those soldiers, your friends, you’re all so young and if I make the wrong choice again-”

 

She couldn’t take it anymore. Mikasa crashed her lips against his, the taste of her salty tears and his on her tongue. When they pulled away she brought him into a fierce embrace, enough to make her mending ribs ache. 

 

“I’m not going _ anywhere _ , do you hear me?” She made Levi look at her. “You’re fucking stuck with me, up here” she touched his head, “and in here,” she placed her palm over his heart, “so don’t you dare think I’m leaving. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, with no one else.”

 

The smile he gave Mikasa was a broke one, full of regrets and sorrows that only her heart could share. But it was beautiful, and full of something else. Neither could say, it wasn’t the right time. But it was there, that emotion that felt like fireworks in their hearts, that was shared in every kiss and every little smile. 

 

It wasn’t the right time to say it, but Mikasa knew then that she loved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from here out, we're in AU! I've worked pretty hard on the plot and I can't wait to share it with all of you! Let me know what you thought of this chapter, and I'll have the next out soon!
> 
> (The reason it took so long to get this one out is I was supppeerr sick, but I'm over it now and burning up with writing fever!)
> 
> Also, I realized I never gave y'all a name. It's Danielle, drop your names in the comments so I know who to give shout outs too! <3


	18. Before It All Starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Starting to get the next arch on it's feet!

In a way, it was nice to be back at the castle. The old Scouting Regiment Headquarters felt like home a little, since it was the one place Mikasa had spent the longest in the past decade. As their troop broke through the tree line, the stone and brick of the building loomed high into the late summer sky. A collective sigh of relief spread from soldier to soldier, that their long journey on horseback was finally completed. But Mikasa knew more work was ahead. 

 

Though she was behind him, she could tell Levi was scowling. It took her amount to remove her own rose tinted lenses and see the place through his eyes. The weeds had grown back, spotting the grounds like ugly patches of untrimmed hair. The old stained glass windows were dirty and murky. The stables probably needed cleaning and dust had probably gather in the corners of the rooms again. She saw his fingers twitch on his reins, pulling his horse around to address the group. 

 

“Listen up. I’ll debrief you all on our purpose here with Section Commander Hanji and her team, but first, we’re going to make this dump spotless.”

 

A chorus of moans and groans answered his orders. 

 

“No slacking, or no dinner.”

 

“What!?” Sasha cried. 

 

Mikasa kicked her shin and gave her a look that said  _ shut up.  _

 

~~~

 

It took hours, but it was satisfying to see the place so clean. Mikasa understood why Levi liked it clean now, and while the reason was heartbreaking, it did feel nice to have dinner in a spotless hall, with gleaming tables and fresh fires in the hearth. Everyone looked tremulously tired, especially Eren. He didn’t talk but she knew his mind was troubled. Like everyone else, they had no information on what their future held. And for Eren that was worrisome. 

She sat between her brother and Sasha, and while she was wolfing down her dinner, he barely touched his. His shoulders were sagging, brows knit in thought and lips pursed in a frown. The rest of their friends surrounded them, quietly talking with the higher ranking offers sitting up at the end of the table. Their friends knew to ignore Eren when he was like this, questions could provoke a meaningless argument. But not Mikasa and Armin. Between bites of food and conversation, they snuck quick glances at the titan shifter and each other. Years of friendship gave them their own ‘connection’, ways of talking without spoken words. 

 

Mikasa could tell Armin was worried for Eren, as was she, but also very curious about the briefing they were waiting for. The blonde would be playing a more key role in the planning of the Survey Corps now, and he was itching to know what his first task would be. But Mikasa already knew the plan.

 

She looked up at Levi, and back to Armin. His big blue eyes widened, putting two and two together.  

 

_ You know?  _ His expression asked. 

 

Shrugging, she tapped at her head, masking it with a scratch to her scalp. Their Ackerman Bond, as Hanji liked to call it, was indeed a security breach. Levi had never said a word, out loud or in their minds, but she knew parts of the plan. 

 

And she was excited to get started. 

 

The doors to the dinning hall banged open. Commander Erwin and Captain Mike entered, the two tall men wearing stern expressions as the soldiers stood and saluted. 

 

“At ease,” he said, sitting with the rest of them at the table. “I’d like to thank you all for your patience. These next steps we take have been carefully planned by myself and Dhalis Zachary to achieve victory over those who seek our demise. So listen carefully, because this information doesn’t leave this castle.”

 

Mikasa only half listened. She knew most of it anyways. Hanji’s squad was tasked with finding the extent of Eren’s shifting abilities. To understand it fully, to find how often he could shift, improve his fighting, and so on. But most importantly, to see if it was possible for him to crystalize like Annie could. Because if he was, there was hope for Wall Maria. 

 

As for Levi’s team, including herself, they would be training on how to kill titan shifters. All of them had earned their right at this table, whether by exceptional skills or uncanny instincts. And since they were young, it would be easier to teach new dogs new tricks. 

 

But when Erwin mentioned the two squads working as one, Eren tensed. His frown deeped but he wouldn’t look away from his lap. From under the table, Mikasa reach out and grabbed his hand. She knew he was afraid, for when he looked at her he didn’t met her eyes, only looked at the scar on her cheek. 

 

“With that in mind, I’d like you all to get a goodnight’s sleep. We have a lot of work ahead of us.” Erwin stood and that ended the meeting. 

 

Everyone stood, going to the rooms they had been assigned. Mikasa was going to stay and help clean up with Conny and Sasha. Their little broom sword match earned them the first round of kitchen duty. But she stopped picking up dishes and looked to the door. 

 

Levi stood just in the shadow of the beams, watching her. He nodded his head towards the hallway and said  _ secret stupid meeting. Erwin wants to chat about something, with the both of us.  _

_ Okay, give me a minute.  _

 

She smiled, but he didn’t return it. And it worried her. 

 

After clearing most of the dishes, she bid Conny and Sasha goodnight. They honestly didn’t even notice, too caught up in an argument that only made her smile. Now she knew exactly who Levi didn’t want to find tangled up in bed together. 

 

The hallways were lit with candles, slowly dripping with yellow wax and delicate flames. She went to the main office, where Erwin, Hanji, and Levi were already sitting. 

 

“Thank you for joining us, Mikasa.” The blonde greeted her. “Please, have a seat.”

 

She closed the door quietly and did as he said, sitting next to the other woman and across from Levi. He still had a stony expression, but it didn’t fool her anymore. He didn’t like this, whatever the meeting was about, and seemed resolved to keep his opinion. 

 

“Of course, Sir. May I ask what the nature of this meeting is?”

 

Erwin passed a paper across the table to her. On it was a picture of a man’s face, sketched in realistic likeness that reminded her of a wanted poster. “Do you know who this man is?”

The brunette studied his features before nodding. “This is Pastor Nick, a head priest in the Order of the Walls.”

 

“Yes, and we need to find him.” Erwin nodded to Hanji, and she more than happily took over the conversation. 

 

“He’s important, we think he knows something about the walls themselves and how they were built!” She pushed a stack of papers towards Mikasa, though they were too many to read through. “I’ve been looking into the history of the three walls, and no where in record does it tell of how exactly they were built. They already existed in the earliest history accounts. It’s that strange?”

 

“Yes…” Mikasa agreed, “but why do you think Pastor Nick has any further knowledge?”

 

She remembered seeing him preaching in the streets, the wild look in his eyes that only crazy people had. The intensity of his voice in Eren’s court hearing still made her unreasonably angry. 

 

“Well, he and I had an interesting conversation you see.” Hanji continued. “Right after Annie scrapped up part of wall Sina. I’ll keep it short, but from the way he was talking he seemed to imply that the structure holding up the walls was dangerous.”

 

“Dangerous?” She repeated. 

 

“Like, avoid exposure to sunlight dangerous.”

 

The information fell into place, and Mikasa’s eyes grew large. 

 

“Are you saying...it other shifters had Annie’s crystallizing abilities…”

 

“They’d make perfect support for the walls! Fascinating, isn’t it! And it all would make sense! In fact, I have a theory that-”

“Can we get to the part I don’t like already?” Levi cut her off, arms crossed and scowling. “Titans in the walls, Nick is crazy, moving on.”

 

Erwin cleared his throat. “Yes, well that’s where you and Levi come into play, Mikasa. I can’t send an entire squad after Nick, not with our numbers so low and many of our soldiers needed here. Which is why, if the three of you can prove that this mental link you have isn’t affected by distance, I’m considering sending one of you to find Nick and question him once we know his location.”

 

~~~

_ Why are you so upset? _

 

Levi huffled and rolled over, ignoring Mikasa’s question in his head. His quarters seemed cold. Though the castle was full of sleeping soldiers, the walls groaned as they settled and the windows rattled with every breeze. Everything seemed loud, and cold, all because Mikasa was in a room two floors down and she wouldn’t shut up. 

 

_ Can you let it go? I’m tired and we start training tomorrow.  _

 

_ You’re not tired, you’re angry and want to punch the wall.  _

 

“Dammit woman.” Levi hid his face under a pillow. “Please can we talk about it tomorrow?”

To his surprise, she didn’t say anything. The man tried to get comfortable for the millionth time, closing his eyes and willing himself to fall asleep. But he could feel her. The cogs in her mind turning as she thought hard and long about what could be bothering him. It was sweet, that she cared so much but damn  _ can you just go to sleep? _

 

_ Where is Nick? _

 

“Huh?” Levi said aloud to an empty room. 

 

_ Where is he, Levi? _

 

Signing, he sat up and rubbed his neck.  _ Fine. The last our scouts saw, he was heading towards the Underground.  _

 

_ I see...And since Erwin wants to send one of us, you don’t want to go back.  _

 

_ Yeah. But I really don’t want him to send you. I spent years trying to leave that place and I’d rather go back then let him send you there.  _

 

Mikasa also sighed. Lately, he could feel more than emotions or thoughts from her. Yesterday, she stubbed her toe and he felt it, which was hard to explain to a very observant blonde fucker named Mike. They hadn’t mentioned it to Hanji yet, especially not after she was so excited to have them test out the whole distance thing of their link. That’s when he realized why he was so cold. 

 

_ Can you shut your window?  _

 

_ No, the fresh air is nice.  _

 

_ Hypothermia isn’t.  _

 

_ It’s not that cold. And listen, I’m not excited about this idea either...but I think I can handle myself Levi. If the Commander thinks I can do the mission, I trust his judgement. Besides, I’m sure you’ll have tons of tips for me- _

 

_ The Underground isn’t a walk in the park, Mikasa. It’s the gutter of humanity. There’s no police, no laws, only the gangs who run it. I know what they do to outsiders, especially ones that ask questions and if something happened to you- _

 

_ Hey, nothing will happen okay? _

 

_ You don’t know that. _

 

_ But I know that nothing has happened, and there’s no certainty that it will. Please, don’t worry too much okay?  _

 

Levi smiled a little.  _ What you say, darling.  _

 

~~~

 

Things moved smoothly the next two weeks. Levi’s new squad had learned to master using their gear on all types of terrain, working together during attacks, and soon they would be learning to fight with Eren present. And to everyone’s surprise, Conny had a brilliant idea. 

 

“Sign language?” Mikasa asked. 

 

“Yeah! I mean, I’ve been thinking. If the titan shifters can anticipate our moves and speak our language, it makes sense to talk in a way they don’t understand!”

 

Everything looking up at Levi, who sat at the end of the dinner table. He shrugged. “Do you know it, Springer?”

 

“Yeah! There was a girl in my village who was deaf, everyone learned so we could all talk to her!”

 

“That’s so thoughtful.” Reiner put his hand on Conny’s shoulder. “What a wonderful community you come from.”

 

“Okay, okay.” The captain waved his hand. “Then starting tomorrow, you’re teaching us all how to use it.”

 

Every pair of eyes looked at him, dumbfounded. 

“Yeah I know it sounds crazy, now all of you brats get to bed so you have fresh minds. I’m sure Conny will test our sanity tomorrow.”

 

They all laughed despite Conny’s protests. Mikasa could tell Levi was planning for another tea time, so she lingered in the dining hall talking with her friends until one by one they all turned in for the night.  

 

Only Eren was left. 

 

“How has things been with Section Commander Hanji?” She asked him. 

 

Her brother fidgeted across the table from her, making her even more worried. He’d become withdrawn, quiet even, since the experiments started. Sometimes she attended when he attempted especially strenuous tasks. Earlier that week, she’d been the one to cut him out of his titan when he was testing how many times he could transforms. Shockingly, he did it five times before exhaustion set in. And while Mikasa trusted Hanji, she still worried that Eren was being pushed too hard. 

 

“Fine, tomorrow we wants me to build a house or something. She said she wants to see how well I can do small, delicate things.” 

 

“That sounds interesting. I’m glad it’s nothing too crazy.” She smiled, and while he tried to return it, it was half hearted. “Eren, what’s bothering you?”

 

He signed, shoulders sagging. “It’s just...Ever since I transformed a bunch of times, I keep having weird dreams. They’re like memories, but not mine. It’s confusing and sometimes strange.”

 

“Have you told Hanji?”

 

“No, I don’t think it’s anything important. Probably just nerves or something.”

 

Mikasa grabbed his hand. “Tell her, okay? It might be something that she can help with. Maybe even give you something to help you sleep.”

 

“Okay, if you say so.” He nodded, although reluctantly. 

 

As much as he didn’t like them, she gave her brother a hug before telling him goodnight. She carefully made her way to Levi’s room, entering without knocking and locking the door behind her. 

 

“Took you long enough.” 

 

She smiled when he greeted her with a kiss, and she took it from there. 

 

Since Erwin’s room was literally right down the hall, they’d perfected the art of a quick fuck. Honestly, she liked it. The excitement of being found out made her feel like a girl again, keeping a secret from her parents. Mikasa loved every little conversation they had in front of others in their heads, each little glance and smile at dinner where anyone could see. But they were careful, the potential consequences looming over their heads and also egging them on. 

 

As she got dressed again, Levi placed little kissed up and down her neck. 

 

“Same time tomorrow night?” He asked. 

 

“Gross.” She turned around, pretending she wasn’t smiling. “You make me sound like a prostitute.”

 

“Sorry, let me rephrase.” He kissed her sweetly, holding her hips as she buttoned up her shirt. “Same time tomorrow night, darling?”

 

“That’s not better, but yes.” Mikasa blushed as she untangled herself from him. “See you tomorrow.”

 

The hallways were dark, all the candles had melted down the wick. She had never been afraid of the dark, nor of shadows or the creatures within them. Not even as a little girl. Her mother had taught her that the dark wasn’t to be feared, the same with thunderstorms. They were a part of nature, as normal as sunlight and blue skies. 

 

It gave her confidence sometimes, to comfortable in shadows. So when she turned the corner to her hallway, and when she saw a figure at her outside her door, she wasn’t startled. Mikasa hoovered, watching. She saw scruffy hair, long legs and balled up fists. It was her brother.

 

_ Why are you here?  _ She wondered, watching him slowly raise his hand to her door. His fingers were shaking, meaning to knock, but he pulled back. 

 

The second she heard him sniffle she emerged from around the corner. 

 

“Eren?” She whispered. Her quiet tone still made him jump. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I- wait, why aren’t you asleep?”  

 

“I went to the kitchens for a glass of water.” Lying to Eren felt wrong, but she couldn’t just casually tell him she’d come back from their captain’s quarters at this hour. “What is it, Eren?”

 

“I…” His head hung low, a look of defeat clouding his usually bright eyes. It killed Mikasa to see him like this. What had happened to that spunky boy that she loved? 

 

He mumbled uncomfortably, so she took his hand and pulled him into her room. She made him sit next to her on her bed, the blankets cold and the bed still made. She only hoped he wouldn’t notice. 

 

“Tell me what’s going on, right now.” Anxiety was building every second that he didn’t speak, enough for  _ him  _ to notice. 

 

_ Everything okay?  _

 

She shook her head, willing away Levi’s presence in her mind. She needed to be present, here in the now and not in her head. “Please, Eren. You’re scaring me.” 

 

When was the last time he’d sought her company like this? She couldn’t ever recall him being this scared. Not her brother, who was always so headstrong and fearless. This sudden change of character was like a pale reflection of her Eren. When had this happened? Why hadn’t she protected him from whatever was draining that bright spirit in his heart? 

 

“It’s...those dreams I was talking about.” He finally said, though she had to strain to hear his quiet mumbling. “I, well I had this dream that something was fighting me, and I was in my titan form. It felt like I was being stung by bees, they were so quick and I kept swatting at them, but they kept stinging me.” 

 

Eren looked away, like he wanted to hide his face in shame. “But I finally saw what I was killing. They were people sis, soldiers, quick like lightning and all working together like a hive. And you were there.” 

 

Mikasa’s eyes widened. 

 

“But all the people, they looked like you did. And I-” his voice was shaking, “I was killing, murdering them and I swung my fist at you and-”

 

She pulled her brother into a tight hug, only this time he didn’t fight it. Eren never cried like this, so full of despair and dismay. Her worry for him was only out matched by a sense of dread. If she hadn’t been there, if Eren had discovered her empty room and went looking for her…

 

It was selfish to think of it now, with her only surviving family weeping in her embrace. But she knew eventually, Eren would find out. 

 

She couldn’t hide things from him forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter! The remaining ones of this story will be setting up for the next big plot section that will continue into the next fic! Thank you all for over 1k hits and so many kudos! I never dreamed this fic would be such a hit!


	19. They Suffer Through Harm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for the long break that I didn't mean to take, but here's an extra long chapter to help make up for it! Thank you so much for over 3k hits! I really appreciate the love and the comments are a huge motivation for me like always!  
> Hope you all like it! <3

“You’re not going to win if you hold your guard up like that.”

 

“Shut up, there’s not this much talking in sparring.”

 

“There is when you’re _teaching someone.”_

 

Mikasa swung her fist, aiming it at Levi’s scowling face. He blocked it, she’d made it easy to spot a mile away. But with his eyes on her hands, he didn’t see her feet. Hooking her boot behind his knee, she tripped him back, using the same hand he’d blocked to put him in a choke hold.

 

She smiled sweetly at him. “Then I guess you’re a good teacher.”

 

“Okay, okay, just let me go.”

 

Levi had insisted on these little sparring sessions they had each morning before the rest of the squadron woke up. So for the past two weeks, they got up in the dark and met down in the gymnasium. At first Mikasa had complained about waking up so early, but since it gave them more time alone she had come to look forward to them.

 

“Here, I brought these.” Levi flipped a knife in her direction, “figured you might need more than fists in the Underground.”

 

She signed, testing the balance of the blade. “I appreciate these lessons, but it’s not like I’m going alone. I’ll have Reiner there and-”

 

“People like Reiner die down there all the time, Mikasa.”

 

His tone told her Levi was done with this conversation, the one she’d bring up every time they sparred. Because she knew these lessons weren’t for fun, they were because her captain was worried. She felt it on his mind every time the mission was brought up, every time she didn’t throw a punch perfectly.

 

Mikasa couldn’t tell if his anxiety was for her safety, or if he thought she wasn’t as fit for the mission as he was.

 

Levi gripped the handle of his weapon and attacked her without warning. Not that she needed one. Their daggers slashed at air, whistling past each other. He’d told her once that hand to hand combat was a dance, only you’re trying to draw blood, and the pair had perfected that dance. More than just the link told Miksa where he’d move next. She’d learned to read the flexing of his muscles, the way he’d clench his jaw before a kick, or how he’d exhale during an uppercut. But one thing caught her eye this morning.

 

She’d seen it before, out beyond the walls, but hadn’t paid attention to it until now. He always held his blade backwards, giving him more range and an accuracy. After watching him swing the knife a few more times, she spun her weapon around and tried to mimic his movements.  

 

His slight smile told Mikasa that was the point of today’s lesson.

 

The woman learned quickly, and soon their dance had a new flare to it. The light reflecting off the steel, both partners blocking and slashing in elegant curves. Adrenaline pumped through their blood, the thrill of combat igniting a grin on both their mouths. But when she spun out of his grasp and managed to slip his knife away, an image flashed through her head.

 

A wicked smile and a straw hat. Dark hair and dark eyes. Mikasa didn’t recognize the man’s face, but it felt like a memory all the same. One from long ago, when the world seemed hopeless and full of blood.

 

She cried out, dropping her dagger and clutching her head. The face burned behind her eyelids, spreading fire in her head. It was the worse headache she’d ever felt, worse than when she thought of that night, of when she met Eren.

 

_Get out, get out of my head. Get him out, get him out-_

 

“Mikasa!”

 

She opened her eyes and looked straight into Levi’s. Seeing such open worry and concern on his face was always strange, yet he did so only with her. She collapsed onto her knees with Levi’s arms around her.

 

“Who was that?” She fisted her hands in her hair. “I don’t know who that man was, why did I see someone I don’t know? Why?”

 

“Did he look like a sack of shit with a straw hat?” Levi asked, slowly losing her grip from her dark locks. When she nodded, he let out a pained sign. “I’m sorry, it’s just when we both fought like that and you managed to disarm me...no one’s been able to do that. Except him.”

 

Mikasa knew of whom he spoke, but said the man’s name anyways.

 

“Kenny.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He sat down next to her, holding her hands like he was afraid she’d tear out her hair. She knew how much he liked her hair.

 

“Does this mean we can share memories with each other now?” The woman quietly asked, staring at their hands.

 

“I guess? It’s been over a month now since we were outside the walls. Maybe the connection is getting strong.”

They were quiet, listening to the silence of the usually loud castle. Mikasa felt her captain’s heavy spirit. Felt how he now worried that the things haunting him would become a burden to her as well. _He thinks I’ll dislike him, hate him even, if I saw what his life was like before the Scouting Legion. How can he be so stupid to think I’d-_

 

Suddenly, much to Levi’s surprise, she started laughing.

 

He frowned. “What? This isn’t really a joke, Mikasa.”

“Oh, but it is.” She chuckled, pointing a finger at him. “Because this means I might see Erwin kick your ass.”

 

His mouth widened before his well known scowl set in. “It happened, okay? That’s all you need to know.”

 

“Uh huh. Tell me, was it the height difference that gave him the advantage?”

 

“Go fuck yourself.”

 

“Why? You don’t want to help?”

 

Their sparring lesson ended with them mostly tangled on the ground, throwing fake hit in between very real kisses.

  


~~~

 

“I swear to god, Sasha. If you start another food fight-”

 

The redhead looked shocked at Ymir’s comment. “ I’d never waste such a precious and delicious resource! I don’t start food fights! But,” she gave Conny a dirty glare, “I’ll sure as hell finish them.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Conny lifted his foke and stuck it in Sasha’s face. “Do you want this or not?”

 

“I don’t like kidneys!”

 

“But you just said you don’t waste food!”

 

Mikasa blocked out the chatter of the breakfast table, a difficult skill she’d had to learn after being Sasha’s roommate for so long. Eren sat next to her, shoveling his food into his mouth like always. His mother always said he’d choke and die he didn’t slow down, but it never stopped him.

 

“How did you sleep?” She whispered, watching her brother’s face closely.

 

He shrugged, feigning disinterest. “Fine.”

 

Mikasa had asked him this question every day since the dreams started. After a lot of yelling and arguing, they told Hanji, who of course insisted on recording them. But instead of sitting and watching Eren sleep like the Section Commander had first offered, Armin kept the log. The two were roommates after all, and it was a lot easier for everyone involved. Sometimes he had normal dreams, weird ones, or none at all. But Hanji thought they might be past memories of other titan shifters and had quickly become her new obsession. No one but the senior staff, Armin, and Mikasa knew. The Commander had said it just wasn’t necessary to inform the rest of the squads. But Mikasa had thanked him for saving Eren his pride nonetheless.

 

“So Eren, you shit out any crystals yet?” Jean asked from across the table.

 

Eren grimaced. “Why are you so obsessed with my shit, man?”

 

Everyone at the table laughed and even Mikasa had to hide her smile.

 

A week ago, Hanji chipped off some of the hardened flesh that encased Annie. It wasn’t much, a handful of tiny, dustlike shards. Moblit questioned if it even was from the crystal, and not from the swords they used. But she had Eren ingest them anyways, and the next day, everyone celebrated. He’d transformed parts of his skin into the crystal armor like Annie had, giving hope to their goal of sealing Wall Maria again.

 

_Remember when we all thought Four Eyes was making Eren eat sword dust?_

 

Mikasa’s eyes darted up the table to Levi, who was smirking.

 

_That was funny._

 

She rolled eyes _. No, you thought it was. I didn’t._

 

_Yes, you did._

_...Okay, it was kinda funny. Only because Hanji thought his insides would put the pieces back together and he’d shit out a sword._

 

Levi hide his chuckle in his tea cup, but the Commander noticed.

 

~~~

 

That day, both Squad Levi and Squad Hanji went out to the north field to train. And Levi had never wanted to punch the other squad leader more in his life.

 

“This will be so great!” Hanji bounced beside him, making her glasses hit her forehead. “Our titan versus our elite squad!”

 

“How much coffee did you have today, shitty eyes?”

 

“Five cups!”

 

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. _Jesus fucking christ._

 

“Alright brats, here’s what we’re going to do today.” The man dumped a bag full of wooden swords out onto the grass, handing one to each of the soldiers. “Don’t treat these as toys. Carry them like real swords in your gear. You’re going to practice putting together all the things we’ve covered these past weeks to try and out maneuver Eren. It’ll be good experience for you in case we have to fight another titan shifter, and for Eren in case the Military Police want a new lab rat.”

 

“Yes! Try to hit hard enough so Eren has to regenerate and I can see!” The other squad leader clapped her hands. “This will be so fun!”

 

“Yeah, fun.” Levi crossed his arms.

 

“And if this goes well, we’ll do it again!” Hanji’s smile got bigger. “Only, to the death.”

 

Everyone’s face dropped, looking at Eren who had started sweating.

 

“No, we will not, idiot.”

 

Everyone signed in relief.

 

“But Eren can’t die, Levi!”

 

“Um, yes I can?” Eren almost squeaked.

 

Hanji laughed. “Not by wooden swords you can’t, silly! We would have to use-”

 

“Okay, okay, let’s get this over.” Levi clapped a hand over the woman’s mouth, even as she protested and bite him. “Eren, go transform in the middle of the field there. The rest of you, take your positions.”

They all obeyed his order, breaking into their assigned teams. Except Mikasa. She already knew what her role was in this exercise.

 

_Make sure no one loses a head._

 

_What about arms or legs, captain?_

 

_Those are fine._

 

Even from a distance, he saw her wink at him.

 

As Eren transformed, lighting up the field in a green haze, Levi examined the bite Hanji left on his hand.

 

“Hey dumbass, how did my fingers taste?” He asked her.

 

“Bitter, like your soul.”

 

He flipped her the finger as the soldiers moved into combat.

Levi watched as Jean’s team was the first to strike. Flanked by Bertolt and Ymir, they swung low on the ground as easily as they would on rooftops. _Good, at least that part of the training paid off._  They curled up and around Eren’s massive form, who swung his fist down at Jean. But the soldier used his grappling hooks to snag a hold on the titan’s shoulder, running up the length of his arm and delivering a blow to Eren’s bicep. Hanji shouted in excited when Eren used armor to block the blow.

 

“Woohoo! Did you see that, Levi?!”  


“I have eyes, so yeah, I saw it.”

 

But the fight wasn’t over. Jean made a motion with his hands, and the others nodded in response. He went again for Eren’s arms, keeping him busy while Ymir and Bertolt ran along the ground, using gas to propel themselves forward, and attacked the shifter’s achilles. The swords broke on impact of course, but it would’ve caused the titan to fall over if they had been live steel.

 

Levi felt proud, and he could tell Mikasa did as well.

 

He spotted her in one of the trees, waiting in case disaster struck.

 

_Which it probably will._

 

He could feel her frown.

_Don’t say that, they’ve all worked hard. And did you see how well the sign language worked? We taught it to Eren but he didn’t even see it coming._

 

_Yeah, surprising such a great idea came from Springer._

 

_I’ll agree with you on that._

 

Next up was Reiner’s team. He signed for Krista, Armin, and Conny to attack Eren’s face, and while they distracted him, he went for Eren’s back. But Eren had learned, and each blow Reiner tried to deal out, he blocked with his shield.

 

They cycled in teams, Jean’s squad then Reiner’s. They gave Eren a few seconds before each round, changing up the tactics and strategies. Armin used the compressed gas of his gear to send a gust into Eren’s face, which worked really well for a distraction. Ymir intentionally used a spare line to wrap around Eren’s legs and try to stumble him. The soldiers stayed in constant contact with each other using sign language, and by now, everyone had learned to Mikasa’s trick of using the compressed gas to run faster.

 

_You know, it blew my mind out there when you thought of that._

 

 _Hmm?_ Mikasa was carefully watching Sasha as she did a tricky maneuver.

 

_When you used your gas to run. Never would’ve thought of that._

 

_Are you complimenting me?_

_Obviously. We’re still alive aren’t we?_

 

_Aw, thank you._

 

_You’re welcom-_

 

The distinct sound of a grappling hook breaking rang out in the field. Levi watched as Krista started to fall, saw Mikasa jump off her perch to try and reach the blonde before she hit the ground. But everyone stared in shock when it was Eren who caught her.

 

“Wow.” Levi said aloud.

 

“Aw, look she’s blushing!” Hanji pointed as Eren gently put her down on the ground. “Ah, young love.”

 

“Gross.”  


_I heard that._

 

“Sorry.”

 

Hanji gave him a weird look, but he pretended he didn’t notice as he called back in the soldiers and ended the training.

 

~~~

 

Levi left the dinner hall early that night. Mikasa glanced up as he left, but said nothing. She knew where he was going, since he did this every night for the past week. He didn’t bother knocking, simply opened the door the Erwin’s office and stepped in.

 

“No, Levi.”

 

The brunette glared at his commanding office, shutting the door behind. “I haven’t said anything yet.”

 

“You don’t need too, the answer is still no.” Erwin didn’t even look up at him, still writing on the paper on his desk. “I’m still sending Mikasa to the Underground. She’s never been there and-”

 

“That’s exactly why she shouldn’t go.” Levi crossed his arms. “Or did you forget in your old age what the Underground is like?”

 

“We’re the same age, you know.”

 

“Not the point. _I_ have more experience. _I_ lived down there for half of my life. I’m the one who should go, it’s the logical answer. Period.”

 

“Actually, it’s better to send two people no one has ever seen before. They’re less likely to be noticed and get into trouble that’ll distract them from the mission. And to keep one my of squad leaders here where he belongs. _That’s_ the logical answer, Levi.” He raised an eyebrow at the other man. “How many times do I have to explain this?”

 

“Until you see that you’re full of bullshit.”

 

They glared at each other, and Levi was reminded of the first time they met. But Erwin’s face relaxed, exhaustion replacing the cold anger previously on his face.

 

“It’s strange, I never thought I’d be arguing with you, _every_ night, for almost _two weeks,_ about not sending you back to the Underground.”

Levi huffed. “Yeah, well maybe I’m feeling nostalgic.”

 

“Or you’re trying to protect her.”

 

Now Levi really wanted a rematch of that first fight.

 

“I want to ask you something, and I want complete honestly.”

 

He clenched his teeth. “Yes, I do think you’re being an idiot.”

 

“I already know that.” Erwin placed his elbows on the desk, hands resting on his chin. “This is what I want to know. Is this connection you and Ms. Ackerman share a compromise to you or your duties?”

 

The correct answer was to say no, but Levi had a hard time saying it. _Because it is, isn’t it? I’ve already disobeyed a direct order back in Stohess. I’m practically begging to go back to the one place I never want to see again, all because of her._

 

“Well?”

 

“No, it’s not a compromise. It kept us alive outside the walls, helped the military defeat the Female Titan, and train the new soldiers better. Do you see it as one?”

 

Erwin thought for a moment, then shook his head. “No, I don’t. Now, do you want to keep arguing with me or are we done for the night?”

 

“No, I’ve said all I needed to.” Levi turned, his right hand balled into a fist as he opened the door. “I’ll trust your judgement, even if I don’t agree with it.”

 

“Thank you, Levi.”

 

But The Commander's graditiue fell on empty ears. Because all Levi could think of was what it would be like to feel Mikasa in trouble. Through their link, what it would be like to feel her suffering, when she was five days away from him and hundreds of feet beneath ground. _I don’t ever want to experience that, so you’d better fucking know what you’re doing, Erwin._

 

~~~

 

“So, you have a crush on Krista?”

 

Eren spit out his drink, making Armin laugh.

 

“What? No, no I don’t! Why would you ask that sis?”

“Because it was pretty obvious this afternoon during training. I could see her blushing.” Armin poked an elbow into Eren’s side. “I think she likes you too.”

 

“I just caught her, alright! That’s all!”

 

Armin’s laugh and Mikasa’s quiet chuckles filled the empty mess hall. Everyone had turned in for the night, but the trio stayed and talked. They’d been so busy lately that they barely got to be alone together, like it used to be. But at times like now, it felt like nothing had changed. That the walls hadn’t been broken, that they hadn’t seen friends die, it was just them. A little family, like old times.

 

“You know, you’ll have to battle Ymir for her.” Mikasa winked at her brother. “A love triangle, that’ll be fun to watch.”

 

“I’m not entertainment, sis!”

 

“I think what Mikasa is trying to say is, that if you like her, why not go for it?” Armin gave her a look, and knew his words had a double meaning. “I mean, I know you guys aren’t the most obvious couple, but that’s okay, as long as you’re happy, right?”

 

“I guess,” Eren mumbled, “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

 

Mikasa glanced at Armin, knowing he wasn’t just talking about Eren and Krista. _Does this mean he approves? Does he already know we’re in a relationship?...is it a relationship?_

 

“So getting off this terrible topic-” Eren shot his green eyes over to Mikasa’s gray ones. “Are you and Captain Levi friends now?”

  


_That_ caught Mikasa off guard. She wasn’t expecting such forwardness from Eren, although she probably should have. He never beat around the bush.

 

“Yes, I guess so. He’s still my superior office and all,” this time, her words had a duel meaning for Armin. “But we have come to an understanding after the last expedition. Why do ask?”

 

Eren shrugged, missing the way Armin’s eyes twinkled with understanding. “Well, everyone else has been talking about it.”

 

_Shit._

 

“They have?” She kept her tone cool, uninterested, while her insides were churning.

 

“Yeah, Jean thinks you guys are the best fighters in the history of everything, and now that you’re not trying to kill Levi, Conny thinks you guys could take down the Colossal Titan by yourselves.”

 

 _Oh._  

 

“Well, I don’t think we’re that strong…”

 

“Either way, I’m glad you guys are getting along.” Eren said. “I really admire him, almost as much as I admire you.”

 

Mikasa felt her heart melt a little at his words, and felt hope that with Armin’s help, Eren would understand when he found out the truth.

  


And maybe, just maybe, be happy for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing the dialogue for these characters, comedy always comes easily with them. xD  
> Next chapter will be out soon! Thanks again everyone who waited so long for this update! I promise the next chapters will not take me two months lol. 
> 
> ~ Danielle

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be as often as my schedule allows. If you get impatient, feel free to harass me in the comments or leave feedback! <3


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